2011, Time for You to Go

I've written this post about 12 times now, and each iteration is a completely different composition. I feel a drastic need to tie up some lose ends on the mess that turned out to be 2011. I use the term mess not in a negative sense, but instead a literal one. There was no organization, no real plan followed- merely a convergence of any number of events over which I had no control. And that's ok.

So, in an effort to better adapt for 2012, I am taking a page out of a company playbook. I am going to analyze the bottom line and prepare for the next year based on historical results. What that means to me is I am going into 2012 without any real plan. I have a few minor goals that I intend to reach, but any overall blueprint, I am abandoning. While this seems like a minor implication, this is a big deal to me, and I hope that a new approach to the year will help me temper the changes that I anticipate coming down the pipe in the new year.

There are several certainties that I am prepared for. 1- I am moving. Yes. This is the news of the hour. How can I be so certain? Well...mostly because I signed a notice of termination on my lease this morning, and have already set up living arrangements effective February 18th. So I think it's safe to say that this change is pretty definite. B- I am certain that I am uncertain. Clear as mud, right?

The unkown? Well, despite the fact that this is such a broad category and constantly evolving, I am willing to throw caution and planning to the wind and just chalk 2012 up to a year of growth and unknown. I have planned most of my life to a T (did anyone read the post about the importance of my calendar???). I usually have my days, weeks, and sometimes months planned to half hour intervals. I'm not promising that I can completely abandon the inherent planning that I need to survive, but instead I am blocking time for chaos. A week here and there where I will agree to not make any plans (does anyone have a paper bag that I can breath into- I think I'm starting to hyperventilate!!).

My goals for 2012 are strictly related to personal development and targeting issues that I have ignored for too many years. Starting with......I'm not sure anyone is ready for this open confession.....learning how to ride a bike. Yes, you read that correctly. I do not know how to ride a bike. And while this seems so miniscule and unimportant on a day to day basis, I am in a constant state of feeling left out by this life skill that has plagued me for years. Show of hands (or comments), who else does not know how to ride a bike? If I get even 5 confessions, I will be shocked. This is perhaps one of the darkest secrets that I have in my arsenal. And it's time to clean this skeleton out of my closet. So, any volunteers to help me learn? I turn to you, my dear friends and readers to help me make good on this goal for 2012.

Alright, here's the worst part...I have one other goal. I wish it were a prouder moment than the time I openly confessed on my blog that I don't know how to ride a bike, alas, it is also profoundly embarrasing. 2012 is also the year that I vow to finally, once and for all, learn how to.....I don't wanna say it.....

swim.

I know. I know. I know. This is pathetic. If it makes you feel any better, it's not like I would sink to the bottom of the pool if I were tossed in the deep end. It's just that I'm not sure that my arm flailing, leg kicking, head above water approach to staying affloat is really the way to float through life. What it really comes down to is that as a kid, my parents signed me up for swim classes- I went- and when I didn't feel like putting my face under water, no one really made me do it. So I just never learned. Kind of how I never learned to ride a bike. Once the training wheels came off, and I fell off the first time, no one ever made me get back. There was no powering through. And given my last year and half- I'm finally ready to power through. Time to ditch the training wheels. And if I scrape my knees up in the process, well then the scars will hopefully make for some fun stories to my grandchildren one day.

So now I turn to my favorite musician for some words of advice:

The best thing that I can give to you

Is for me to go,

Leave you alone,

Cuz you've got growing up to do.

                                                - Joshuan Radin

And while these lyrics have had very distinct meanings to me at different times in my life over the years, right now I recite them to myself. I am going to let go of myself for a year. Searching for my adventure, and attempting to learn along the way, a little more about who I am, who I want to be, and where I want to go. I ask you all to continue to read about me and who I am working to be, and help me to stay true to myself the best that I know how, help me keep good on my promises, and laugh with me when the occasion calls.

Now, as I wrap up my last post of 2011 and start to shift my thoughts towards 2012, I open the floor to you and your goals for the new year. If you can hold me accountable, then I hope to give you the same motivation which I seek. That's what we are all here for, right? Just people helpin' people.

Catch you in 2012. Happy New Year, y'all!

Sincerely,

Cindy L. Who.

It's Not the Size that Counts...

Oh please, get yo' minds out the gutters- this is a post about holiday presents!

It's funny, and I'm sure not a unique observation, but as I was wrapping "holiday" presents this evening, I found myself in a perpetual state of frustration. Partially because Mickey the Elf tried to eat half of what I was wrapping or rile up a good game of chase with my ball of ribbon or just flat out insert himself on top of my makeshift wrapping station, but mostly because I found that everything I was wrapping was so teeny tiny, that it was hard to wrap it. And I used to love wrapping presents, I always used to beg my mother to let me wrap all the presents, and would even get upset when she insisted on keeping the few designated for me all to herself to wrap. Don't worry, I always found her hiding spot.

But as I thought about the presents that I used to wait all year to be surrounded by for wrapping, they were big boxes. The inevitable sweaters that all of my brothers would get, or whatever set of glassware was deemed appropriate for my sisters-in-law, they were big boxes and I loved wrapping them and dressing them with bows and ribbons and name stickers, candy canes, bells, Snoopy stickers, bumper stickers, WHATEVER I could find...these fantastic beacons of gift giving were the best part. And then I got to thinking, I can't remember the last time that I wrapped a giant present, or received one. Howcome?

I think most of us (yes, even me, the half Jew) remember waking up on Christmas morning and running to see what was under the tree and darting immediately to the biggest, bestest box that couldn't even fit under the tree it was so huge. The box that could make me forget the monkey bread that mom got up early to make for Christmas morning, the one that little Ralphie just KNEW had his Red Rider Bee Bee gun. THE box. That was half the true Christmas prize. Regardless of what was actually inside, it just HAD to be cool. And bonus points if the box somehow managed to be bigger than the kid itself. But when I finished wrapping all of my presents and saw that the compilation of everything I purchased for everyone this holiday season would fit into one of the average size boxes under the trees of yore (the one that you knew had something lame like socks and school clothes), I had such a sense of let down. Really? This is what all of my hard earned cash got me? This tiny pile that's so small I can barely fit bows on them? You've got to be kidding me!

But as I thought about the convergence of getting older and the advanced technologies that many of us put on our holiday wish lists, it's now the small items that we tend to get more excited about. As girls get older, the smaller the box, the better. Because that most likely means that there's jewlery in there (Forgive the stereotype that had to be played upon here, but you get my drift). As boys get older, the smaller the box, the more technology that's jammed into some tiny shell. Atleast that's what I'm hoping Dad thinks when he gets his tiny wrapped box. But even my nieces and nephews that I have shopped for, everything is small- gift cards, video games, iPods. Most of the top gift lists reports this year contain iPad 2, iPhone 4, Kindle Fire, Nook, etc. I mean, I think even the box my Walkman came in back in the day was bigger than some of these. And I remember thinking I was hot stuff that it was bright yellow AND had AM/FM radio on it.

I guess all I meant to accomplish here was to remind everyone of the excitement of the giant box under the tree. It was a simple pleasure that I know I've lost. How easily we were impressed once upon a time. But this Christmas, so many are hoping for an iPhone with Siri that can look up our directions for us and give us our schedules so that we don't have to be bothered to do it ourselves. And they will be underwhelmed if their gifts do not have these capabilities. Maybe if we are lucky, the iPhone 5 will come with an app that will open our presents for us.

But I digress...Here's wishing you all a Merry, huge, giant box Christmas and an Happy all 8 lit candles Hannukah. May we all find joy in the simple pleasures of the holiday season.

Peace, Love, and Cookies

Ghosts

I've never been one to believe in the supernatural. Except for maybe up until the age of 10, but in my defense there were totally monsters living in my creepy closet. Halloween is a little scary for my taste, but more because of the gore associated with the horror movies than the actual threat of ghosts and goblins. Although, I do remember Devon Sawa as Casper made me and all the girls in the 12-16 demographic a little bit of a believer. (Who can possibly forget him and Christina Ricci floating at the Halloween party for their first dance? Sigh...)

I'm sorry, where was I? Oh yeah...ghosts. When I use the term ghosts, I don't mean in the scary haunting you from the beyond kind of ghost, I mean more in the sense of those things in our past that still haunt us. I had an experience this weekend that I have been thinking about in great detail (as I often do with many things). From my abnormal childhood to my awkward adolesence, I have always struggled with self confidence issues as many females in the US do. For this I am not special. However, in the last 5-10 years, I have made great strides in becoming comfortable with myself, who I am, and where I am.

But why is it that all it takes is one wrong glance from a catty sales clerk in the dressing room at the mall to make you regress to the overweight 14 year old tom boy with glasses and no sense of self? I couldn't believe the position that I found myself in that day. Here I was, an adult (for all intensive purposes) in a nice store, spending my own money, on a dress 4 sizes smaller than what I wore in high school, for a fun holiday party with friends and I had a moment of complete panic. This tall, perky, cute, probably 17 year old "mean girl" (a la Rachel McAdams as Regina George) managed to take that all away from me. And I was not sure who I was more upset with- her for doing it, or me for allowing it to happen. But for that moment in time, all the pressure and discomfort of my awkward, haunting teenage years came flooding back to me with frightening precision.

Tonight, I think about that run in at the mall and I can laugh at myself for being transported back to that awkward teenager who would have grabbed her mini backpack and run off to the nearest Journeys store, because that was always the safe haven in the mall. Any and all levels of weird were welcome there. That girl was my Ghost of Shopping Mall Past. How did she get to me? I am in the best shape of my life, financially independent, had just had a great weekend with great friends, and she managed to unravel it all, with one snide comment that was so unimportant I can't even recall it right now. This perplexes me. Of course, it wasn't until after I left the mall and was on my way home, still pondering the issue, that I realized what I SHOULD have done was marched back in there with the dress that I actually bought, and told her off Julia Roberts style, "Hey remember me? Big mistake, HUGE". I guess that really only works if Richard Gere is footing the bill though.

So how do we deal with our ghosts from the past? The girls that made our lives a living hell in high school, they are always out there- at work, on the tennis court, in the gym, at the mall...everywhere. We can't just shed the scars they left on us from years of torment and feelings of social inferiority. Or can we? Does the inner fat teenage girl ever really go away or do I even want her to?  I think I owe it to her not to cower in this situation, but to rise up and be proud of her for making me who I am today. I am not embarrased of her, and I want to apologize to awkward teenage Synthia for letting that moment of weakness creep in. We're better than that, we're stronger than that, she and I, our powers combined.

I'm not perfect in this situation either. I by no means am attempting to victimize myself here. I've been a mean girl in the past, it's a defense mechanism that awkward teenage Synthia developed to handle these situations. She also shows up from time to time, and I don't like her either. What worse can there be than being the mean girl that I myself can't stand? Another ghost that I would like to release and move on from.

The challenge is how do we let go and allow these phantoms to pass on to a world where they can no longer haunt us (just as Devon Sawa did after his dance with Christina Ricci, btw)? Perhaps it is the passing of time, perhaps I have more confidence to build, and perhaps they never really pass on. I do not know the answer, obviously.

So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light. Ok, fine, I stole that last line from Mumford and Sons "Ghosts", not a perfect fit, but I'll live with it...mainly because the song deals with ghosts. Different types of ghosts, but ghosts none the less.

This Christmas, I'll have a Ghostbusters Proton Pack on my wish list. That outta do the trick!

10 Ways You Can Tell It's "Winter" in Atlanta

Now that we are about a week into December and the temperatures have started dropping, I've been making some rather amusing observations about how we Atlantans (Atlantinians? Atlantons? Atlantanese?) handle the change in climate. Please note that I use the term "winter" very loosely.

There are two distinct categories of people when it comes to cold weather in Atlanta- those who are originally from Atlanta and below, and those who are from the rest of the world.

So, without further delay- here are 10 signs that prove it's winter time in Atlanta:

#1: The news is reporting on the 3...3... sand trucks that the city of Atlanta purchased to be prepared for any possible storms this year. Really? That should probably cover the 5 million + of us that live here, sure.

#2: Last night at the gym, I heard the words "63 degrees" and "chance of snow flurries" in the same sentence. I'm no rocket surgeon...but...what? I almost fell off the treadmill when I heard this.

#3: The fact that people actually watched the above newscast has made it impossible for me to purchase either bread or milk at any local grocer. Apparently the idea of snow really works up a craving for milkshakes and sandwiches. Whatever, I was just passing by on my way to the liquor store anyway. Of course, if I'm snowed in for a few days, I'm sure that a sandwich wouldn't be a terrible idea to go with my vodka tonics. If only I could find some damn bread...

#4: It doesn't actually matter what the temperature is outside, everyone is bundled up in their heaviest winter gear. Seriously, most of us are already wearing the same thing at 50 degrees that we will be wearing for the week that we hit maybe 20 degrees. Below about 55, it's all kind of the same to us. (Also important to note: heaviest winter gear usually implies some form of a pea coat, scarf, and the occasional gloves...oh and lest we not forget ear muffs which somehow have already made a comeback this season...in 60 degree weather!!!).

#5: That group of people NOT from Atlanta, stops talking to the group of us that IS from Atlanta. They no longer ask how we are doing, because every response will have some form of "cold" in it and quite frankly, they frown upon us for it. I think they probably should.

#6: Everyone talks about ice skating. Because the rink is the coldest place we can go in this city to pretend it actually might be Winter like the rest of the world knows it. And we saw Snoopy do it in Charlie Brown Christmas, so it MUST be the thing to do when it's cold...right? None of us actually know how to, so we are all fighting for space along the wall to grab on and pull ourselves. But hey, atleast we're living the dream (and at half the price thanks to Groupon)!

#7: "It's too cold out" becomes a valid reason for cancelling plans that have nothing to do with even being outside. "Hey Suzy! Wanna go see a movie with me?" "No, I'm going to pass, the weather outside is frightful, and the fire I just built is just too delightful!" "Ok, you sure? Because they have heat inside the theater, ya know. Not to mention, you'll probably be fine with a light jacket, the sun's out and it's only 50 today." "No thanks, already curled in my Snuggie with my hot chocolate watching Elf."   

#8: Everyone is putting their small dogs in sweaters to keep them warm. This one, I'm kind of ok with to be honest.

#9: People will post on Facebook for WEEKS about how badly they wish for snow and then post about how much they hate snow on the 1 day a year that we actually get it. Make up your minds. I, for one, am just generally anti-snow. If you would all just subscribe to my school of thought, we can just eliminate this little conflict and I can go back to being annoyed by your regularly scheduled FB statuses.

And perhaps my FAVORITE of them all ....Drum Roll please.......

#10: Every. Single. Weather Advisory. Is compared to the infamous blizzard of March, 1993 - the "Storm of the Century", the "March Superstorm". As a native Atlantan, I remember this storm very well. I was a child and it was the first real snow that I had ever seen. Anyone who has lived in Atlanta knows about this infamous year and we can all recall this date at the drop of a hat. And if you aren't from here but you've lived here for atleast one winter, you know it too because we all talk about. All the time. I recall this event as a Winter Wonderland and was mesemerized by the beauty of all the white fluff. However, the reports that I have gone back to research for this, all document a total accumulation ranging from 4-6 inches. THAT, was our moment of glory.

So there you have it, folks. This is what we here in Atlanta have to look forward to for the next 3-4 months. There will of course be a break from it when we get our inevitable 1 week of 70 degree weather in January.

Hopefully those of you who do not or never have lived in Atlanta can still appreciate some of these. If you have any others that you can think of, would love to hear them!!

Destination Procrastination

A topic I think we are all very familiar with!

So here it is Sunday night, at the end of a long Thanksgiving vacation weekend. My plans for the evening consisted of doing laundry, grocery shopping, a little deep cleaning, and some furniture rearranging if time allowed. It is now 9:34pm and I just put the first load in the wash, my fridge is bare (unless you count the pan of stuffing that I brought home from the office Thanksgiving party week before last- yikes!), I have cleaned nothing, and my bed is currently situated in the smack middle of my bedroom with an 80lb dog holding it in place. I did, however, make it 5 minutes late to the 6:30pm showing of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1.

Ohhhh epic...

And now, here I am working on a post, researching a myriad of Twilight posters, while my best laid plans continue to just lay there. I'm not normally much of a procrastinator. In fact, my M.O. is to have things done so far ahead of time that something changes and I have to redo it. However, tonight, I just didn't feel like getting my butt in gear and buckling down. And since I rarely grant myself this kind of slack, I don't feel bad about it. But in this case, my lack of motivation will not affect anyone but me and Mickey (and perhaps my coworkers depending on what top I pull out of the dirty clothes hamper and whether I can get motivated by morning to put on deoderant). So there really is no big deal to taking my last night of vacation for myself and just chillin' like a villain. 

Now, tomorrow when I get to the office and have deadlines that have to be met and work that has to be done, I don't have the same freedom to grant myself these types of breaks. However, at certain points we have to step back, take a break and reset. I think we can all agree that when our brain gets bogged down with so many thoughts and so many actions, we stop being productive in the way that we need to. So, when is it ok to grant ourselves these pardons? Whether it's studying for an exam, working on a project, trying to hit a work deadline, or just even fulfill social obligations (this one tends to be my biggest hang up).

I don't have a magical answer, although if I did, I wouldn't be sharing it here for you all to read for free. I would turn it into a 200 page Best Seller, "Dr. Synthia's Guide to Perfect Procrastination". That's just my working title, still throwing around ideas. But I know several people right now that I observe and see the pressures of work, or school, or life bogging them down and procrastination doesn't seem like an option. But we all need breaks, and we have to be able to take them in order to maintain function and sanity. In fact I often attribute my personal productivity not so much to what I am doing with my working time but instead what I am doing with my procrastination time. My breathing space is so important to being able to come back and work hard and accomplish anything. For instance, taking tonight to myself will most likely result in a productive rest of my week- which is much more important to me.

I guess all I mean to accomplish with this post is to get you thinking about how and when you procrastinate, and do you effectively procrastinate? I guess now is the time that I also need to acknowledge that fact that one goal of this post is actually procrastination itself. Allow yourself room to take breaks, and don't sweat it if you do. But if you are going to, try to make sure that your breaks will give you the necessary fuel to be successful. Organic motivation. 

Speaking of which, I think it is officially time to switch the laundry, get Mickey off the bed, put it into place, and see what I can dig out of my cabinet to fashion into some form of lunch for tomorrow. Or not... 

If you have any magical cures or advice that you would like me to add to my book, I think we would all love to hear them!

Home for the Holidays

Well, I just completed the should be 6 but took 7 hour Thanksgiving trek to my sister's house in Jacksonville, FL for my first Florida Thanksgiving.

I've had the topic of "home" on my mind lately. And as we are officially in the holiday season (if you couldn't tell by the onslought of Christmas commercials and clever Santa jingles), it seems to be the optimal time to think about what the concept of "home" means to each of us. Is it a physical place? Is it an atmosphere? A city, a state, maybe even a person?

I think we all know how I struggle with definitions of words. Most of the definitions that I have read define "home" as a dwelling or shelter. And while that makes perfect sense, I know that I often find myself wishing I were home. Even when I'm sitting in my apartment. To me, home is not just where I live. It's an environment, an attitude. The house I first lived in, we moved out of when I was in middle school. And the house I spent my adolescent years in was sold while I was away at college. So the houses that my parents now occupy, do not hold any real "home" value to me. And in the last 4 and a half years, I have had 5 places of residence that I have deemed "home". So when I have a deep feeling of wanting to go home, or the spot that I want to belong, none of these shelters really seem to fit the bill. Sure, at the end of a long night, "I want to go home" means "I want to go to wherever it is that my bed is". This could be under my desk at work for all I care at that point (incidentally, a very comfortable spot to sleep, as well).

I guess for me, home is a feeling, a place where I want to belong. More an environment and an atmosphere of love and comfort.  As I mentioned earlier, I often catch myself wishing I could go home. But when I have this thought, it's an undefined locale. It's a longing that I want to establish. And if anyone read my last post (oh, that's right, you ALL did...right???) you can hopefully see where this concept can be a bit confusing given how confused I am on a daily basis.

So, I pass it to you all, and wonder how you define home. On my drive today, one of my current favorites on my playlist really struck me. "Home" by Edwards Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros:

Ahh, Home
Let me come Home
Home is wherever I’m with you
La la la la, take me Home
Baby, I’m coming Home

I like this definition of home. Perhaps you also recognize it as "Home is where the heart is". Yes, I think that's a universal concept. I am certainly not the first to think it, and I'm sure not the last. And while I may not be "home" for Thanksgiving, I have my Mickey here with me, and a house full of family that are glad to see me and I can't think of a better alternate. So since everyone has posted their Thanks on Facebook, I will take a brief moment to say that this Thanksgiving, I am thankful to feel like I belong. I am thankful for a chance to spend time with family that I don't get to see much, but that I am excited to connect with. And I am ESPECIALLY thankful for the CD that I found under my drivers side seat while looking for my phone titled "Country Mix '03", it really made the last 2 hour leg of my journey possible- well, that and the 26oz Rockstar energy drink.

So on this Eve O' Thanksgiving, I wish you all a safe travel "home" to my dear friends returning to loved ones (or mildly tolerable ones). And for those of you not travelling, or going somewhere that isn't home, I still wish you a lovely holiday full of cranberries and stuffing, pies and green bean casseroles.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a Good Turkey.

Old Threads for New Beginnings

A good friend of mine (and loyal reader of my blog) asked if I would be willing to dedicate some of my blog space to talk about a clothing drive that he is currently working on. And given the fact that you are reading the opening lines, I of course agreed to do it!

So here's the deal:

Old Threads for New Beginnings

Sponsored by the Atlanta Union Mission, this annual clothing drive comes right to your doorstep! Seriously people, you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home or pajamas to donate. Unless you are going to donate your PJs, then I personally believe you will find it easiest to remove them first. For 73 years, the Atlanta Union Misson has been serving our area's homeless community by providing food, shelter, and clothing for those in need. And even though we are enjoying weather in the low 70s this week, we all know the temperatures, they are a changin'. This organization needs our help! They are looking specifically for donations of warm clothing, however, any donations are appreciated.

Step 1:  Go raid your closets today, don't wait. Follow my very simple rule, if you haven't worn it in over a year, it's time to go. You don't need 8 black sweaters either- but someone else does. Maybe you are still sporting threads from a few seasons ago- throw 'em in the donate pile, and go take advantage of the MANY sweater sales occuring at a mall near you. Don't care why you do it, Just Do It! (Please don't sue me, Nike!)

Step 2: SCHEDULE YOUR PICK UP! This could not be easier. Simply visit http://oldthreadsfornewbeginnings.org/schedulepickup.html and tell them where to pick up the items. A Union Mission volunteer (maybe Ryan if you're lucky!) will come by on pick up day and...well, they'll pick them up for you. Be sure to schedule your pick up soon! Pickups close Friday, December 2 at 5:00pm!!

Step 3: ........

That's it- only 2 easy steps. Collect your clothes, schedule a pick up. Let's all make an agreement to donate atleast 5 items. Surely we each have 5 items that we can all spare. I'll even get the ball rolling and volunteer a minimum of ten articles of clothing from my closet to go to this cause.

If there is any other information that you find you need, please visit clothing drive website at http://oldthreadsfornewbeginnings.org/

And for those of you dear readers who do not live in Atlanta, there are plenty of ways to help those in need this holiday season! Whether it's through your local Union Mission or any other great charitable organization. It's people helping people, People!

Get the word out!

The Things I Don't Know

I've been racking my brain all week for my next blog post, and have sat down probably 3 or 4 times to start writing and 1-2 sentences in, I hate what I've got. I'm getting nowhere with my thoughts, except more lost. And it's not that I don't have thoughts about various topics, but I haven't quite figured out where their final development stages yet. So if I can't figure out what I mean, I'm sure not going to subject you all to trying to figure it out.

So since I am struggling with writting about something that I do know, I figured maybe I should take an alternative approach and write about what I don't know. That seems to be the majority of what I am sure of lately anyway- that of which I am not sure. I know what I don't know...ya know?

While I have spent the last few months working very hard to focus on my day to day life (waking up on time, longer walks for Mickey, eating smarter, running more, etc.), I have very consciously tried not to focus on the big picture issues (what's my 5 life year plan, will I renew my apartment lease, will I actually go back to school?). And I think that it might be time that I start making some progress on these big ticket items. Yet, I have no idea how to start making a dent in all of these decisions. And where I get really torn is whether I even need to make any decisions. Maybe a "wait and see" plan is the right approach. Maybe I need to take a big risk (which, let's face it- not really my style). Maybe I just need to make a bad decision. But identifying all the options, all the pros, all the cons, all the right answers, and especially all the wrong ones, just lands me in a spinning frenzy that forces me to retreat back to my daily-centric thought model.

Maybe this is common for people my age. It's just a growing pain, a rite of passage into being a "real grown up", whatever that means. The in-between can be quite frustrating. Sometimes I still feel like a kid- having to ask others in my office what a Flexible Spending Account is and where the heck do I purchase car insurance- and sometimes I feel like an old lady- all I want is a Werthers Original and a nice blanket to cover my knees while I watch the Price is Right. I just don't want to flutter about for the next 10 years making no progress. But I guess even if that's what I do, that's ok. I suppose it's possible that I'm wasting my time trying to come up with an answer that can't be found. I'm trying to divide by 0.

What a coincidence- I am writing and listening to Adele's NPR Tiny Desk show (which is a phenomenal music series that I just discovered tonight, you should look it up, really) and the first part of this song really just grabbed me:

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right

Now, while this song is likely about a bad relationship and not a decision about an apartment lease or graduate school, I'm going to go ahead and pretend that I didn't hear the rest of it (even though I did and it's a really good song, kudos). The idea that even if you are wrong, you are right- you made a decision and you can't undo it, you gotta go with it...I hope for that kind of definitive feeling, a willingness just to go after something. Not even a right one, but just to start getting things off my plate. Confidence.

I guess, long story short, (and congratulations to all of you who happened to guess right and skip immediately to the last line for the summary) there's a lot that I don't know. And that's what I know.

The One Where She Blogged about France...

There are approximately 2 people out there that I imagine will understand why I chose to name this post as I did. I'll be interested to see if they step up and admit it :)

Anyway, let's get on with it, shall we?

I anticipated the question "how was your trip?" since before I even left for Nice and I have been thinking and thinking about how I would respond to people. I slept the whole way there, I ate well, I drank well, I laughed, and Nice was beautiful. However, this will not suffice for most of you :) But as I sat in the airport in Amsterdam on my 2 hour layover, I had a real chance to reflect on my week in France, and everything that I identified as my favorite parts of the trip will bore most of you to tears and have little meaning. Sure, I can advise you to visit Nice and have Socca in the old town, take a day trip to beautiful Eze, eat gelato, take in the history. But you can get any of that from professional travel sites who know far more about this locale than I.

However, what these sites can't tell you is that the 20 minute bus ride across town is the perfect time to people watch and laugh hysterically with your companion. I am also fairly sure that there is not a section about how tart the baby oranges on the bush at the museum are, so beware if you think you want to steal one and eat it. These sites will also not warn you of grown men vomiting on a hot and crowded Night Bus on Halloween. Yes, there are many treasures that they just don't talk about.

So, in order to give you all a snapshot of my time in Nice, I am dividing the remainder of this post into 3 sections that I feel best categorize my trip: 1) The fun things I did... 2) The food I ate... 3) The things I laughed at.

1) The fun things I did
 While just about everything that we did was a blast, there are a handful of items that stand out.

- Eze:   This is a fantastic touristy, walled, hill town about a half hour bus ride from Nice. We went for the afternoon and upon arriving, we realized that we read the bus schedule wrong and had almost an hour to wait for the second bus to get up the hill. This gave me a chance to put my toes in the water at the base of the hill, which was a goal for the trip. Two of the nicest hotels in the region are located in Eze, and rates are around the very reasonable price of 1200 Euro a night. Their restaurant also featured a delectable wild wolf the day that we walked by. Another highlight of this attraction is the exotic cactus garden conveniently situated at the very top of the hill. Even though we were only there for a few hours, there is so much to tell about this area. It certainly should be on your to do list if you are ever in the region.

- Reading on the beach:   This started out as fun. A nice cool windy morning and I needed to entertain myself for a little while, so I grabbed the beach chair and crossed the promenade to sit and read for a spell. About 20 minutes in, on an empty beach a man comes and sits down directly next to me, pulls out his cell phone, and begins angrily chatting away in French. Thanks, dude.

- Attended a birthday party:   Even though we arrived an hour late and somehow still managed to be an hour early, I knew the evening was off to a peculiar start when I asked to use the restroom and could not figure out how to flush the darn thing. The handle was NOT where it was supposed to be, and I could not find any instructions. Panic. Setting. In. Finally, I asked the host for help, and he was very kind in showing me that there was a lever on top that was the magic trick. However, when he had bathroom products stacked all around it, I was never going to find this. I think I played right into his trap, just as he wanted! The rest of the party went well. With many nationalities represented, and the wine flowing, there was an opportunity for everyone to sing Happy Birthday to the trap-setting birthday boy in their respective native languages. I believe there were roughly 10-12 lanugages represented, recorded, and compiled into a fun birthday video for all of Facebook to enjoy.

- Halloween:   I am not someone who loves Halloween. The costumes, the fright, the candy, none of it is really up my alley. So I was actually quite glad to be somewhere that does not "live it up" the way we do in the US. However, there were still parties and a few costumes. We eneded up at a Salsa Club after the Opera Bulles (see section below) and danced for a little while. Aaron was surprised to find out that I knew the words to almost every song that the DJ played. That's right, people...I know how to get down with my bad self.

- Opera Bulles:   Staged at L'Eglise St. Augustin, this operatic piano and voice recital was great fun. We listened to selections of Verdi, Puccini, Mozart, and Bizet operas. The conductor was casual and funny, and the music was classic and beautiful. A lovely and unique event.

- Old Nice: This area of town was probably my favorite. With it's narrow alleys, old buildings, and street food galore, it's no wonder that this is the more touristy area of town. And at the top of the area is the old fortress, which we climbed on my last day. The views were amazing, and that was even on a hazy afternoon.

2) The Food I Ate

- Croissants*: Every. Morning. Fresh. Yum.

- Cochon: This is not what the average francophile would think. It was actually a marzipan pig from the bakery. We had to know what it was. But seriously, a pink marzipan pig, how can you not be a little curious?

- Baguettes: *See section RE: Croissants

- Socca: A Niçois tradition. This chickpea cake is the epitome of simple street food. A plate of it is very cheap, it's a simple flavor, and it needed ketchup badly. I am not sure I have ever said that about anything in my life. I waited until I got back to America to say that, just to be sure it was safe.

- Pastis: The French version of Yagermeister. This Anise flavored liquor is very popular in the region. Most commonly consumed in a shot size quanitty and mixed with water...well, it's awful, to be quite frank (or should I say...franc?). And it's even worse when someone puts a glass in front of you before your breakfast has even been served.

- Crepe: What trip to France is complete without one? And before you start to ask, there was no Nutella involved in the making of my crepe. Judge away. I like a simple sugar crepe.

- Salami: The only way that I feel I can appropriately convey my thoughts here are through the words of Joey Tribiani (and going along with the theme of the title) Salami...GOOOOD.

- Cheese: I ate my weight in just about any cheese I could find. Cheap no name cheese from the grocery store, Emmental on my sandwiches, wheels of Camambert. You name it, I ate it. Ok, well not the blue cheese.

- Sausages: While this is technically a list of all the things I ate, I have included this tid bit even though it was something that I did NOT eat. In an attempt to try something new, we selected several sausages from the grocery deli counter that looked like something we had never had before. Not being completely sure of what they were, and me being convinced that they were in fact offal of some type, once cooked we were not able to identify what they were, but what they in fact were not. These were not consumed, and Aaron was no longer allowed to pick out meats.

- Gelato: A-MA-ZING. We had a cup with 4 flavors: Vanilla, Salted Caramel, Cinnamon, and Pistachio.

- Chocolate: We stopped at a chocolaterie while out for a walk one afternoon where you could watch them make everything. They had samples out and just a really unique variety of goods. One of their specialties was using flowers such as rose and violet. Very fragrant flavors. Not a fan, but still nice to have tried them.

- Champagne: To toast my last night and a fantastic week, we bought a bottle of classy champagne from the specialty store down the street. The owner was very helpful and even was one of the few who allowed me to speak to him in French instead of automatically switching to English and killing my French-speaking ego. My first rose champagne, it was a perfect ending to a sweet week.

And last, but certainly not the least....
- La Rossetisserie: Set back in the streets of Old Nice, this roast meat specialist caught our attention while walking one day. It's a small venue with a small menu, and they do what they do well. This was our one meal out for the trip, and it hit the spot both with the food and on the wallet. We had roast lamb, roast pork, roasted potatoes, ratatouille, salads, a carafe of wine, and espressos- all for around 35 Euro. And for desert? Well, we skipped it, but we would have had the chicken!


3) Things I Laughed At:

- Guy vomiting on the bus: Halloween night, late, tired, crowded, and just far enough away that he couldn't reach me. There was no other option but to laugh it off at this point in the night. The odd thing was that no one seemed particularly phased by it.

- Crazy old woman at the bus stop: While waiting for the bus to Eze, there was an older lady who just decided to start assaulting random travellers. She called one girl struggling with suitcases a "salope" (I'll let you do your own translation, this is a family friendly site), she kicked an Italian tourist, and she cursed almost every bus driver that stopped here. I liked her.

- My French: It was bad. I kind of want some of my money back from my education. Perhaps I can use my French bargaining skills to try and negotiate the repayment rate on my student loans, I don't really want to pay them back so much anymore. Or I can just take them with me and join the folks at Occupy Atlanta. The news showed a group of about 20 that are still holding on strong. Wow.

- Bus rides: Aaron and I used our time on the bus to laugh. A lot. I believe that my favorite bus ride conversation was in regards to the proper way to "Brush your shoulders off". He insisted it was the palm side of the hand, I was sure it was the back of the hand. So then we had to look up the actual video. Which then led to a debate about who sang it. Long story short, he was right on both accounts. Jay-Z and palm side down, in case you are wondering.

- French dogs: Surely you didn't think I would make it an entire post without a Mickey mention? How little you all know me! Mickey would never have made it in France. All of the dogs are so well behaved. They don't bark, they don't run off, they don't chase tails. They were actually kind of boring. But they were everywhere, I love it. On the bus, in the grocery store, cafes- I do like this part of the culture. And I saw a handful of breeds that we don't have here in the US, they got some funny looking pups over there!

Ok, fine a 4th Section that I just decided to add..... 4) Things I Left in France

- My new headphones: crap.


Well there you have it! That was my trip in a nut shell. A very large, very long nutshell. But it was really great just to have some time off to relax, catch up with Aaron, and just be in a beautiful location for a week.

A bientôt, mes amis!

I'm Still Alive!

I haven't written in a while, and I apologize for that. Especially since I know most of you wake up every morning, rush to your computer, and immediately log on to see what inspiring words of wisdom, or great new Mickey jokes I've posted next. I have let you down, I'm sorry.

And for the 97% of you, who just check it out when I paste the link everywhere, welcome back!

I must say, I had no idea the kind of traffic that I have been getting on my page. I added a hit counter last week just to get an idea of how many views I am getting, and while I was thinking that I was maybe somewhere upwards of 100 views over the last almost 2 months, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I am now at almost 1,000 views!

So thank you to the more than 5 of you that are actually logging on and reading the words I write. It's really a pretty cool thing and encourages me to keep writing! And before you all reach the same conclusion, NO, I do not log on 75 times a day! I've limited myself to 63, MAX. Please do continue to check in and pass along. Oh ya, and COMMENT! I would still like to increase the number of comments and followers. So if there are any other bloggers out there that have any suggestions, I am all...well ears technically. Eyes, maybe? Puns don't really translate perfectly to the digital world, do they? Oh well...

Anyway, I haven't posted in a while and I thought it was time to add some content. I've had several ideas for what I thought were interesting and entertaining posts, however I've yet to fully develop any of them into full blown concepts. They have ranged from an exposé of Diet Coke and the effects of the average female in the work force to a fabulous idea I had where we take all of the HOV lanes that people already don't use in Georgia and start CHARGING people to use them- but only on 85 North. Oh wait...they already beat me to that. Apparently people don't like the Peach Pass after all...weird.

So then I just decided to sit down and give everyone a debrief on my last week or so. There has been so much happening! Last weekend, I went to the Decatur Craft Beer Fest- a Saturday afternoon Beer Festival on the Decatur Square. It was just fantastic. Good weather, good friends, GREAT time. There is no reason that anyone should ever not go to this event...ever. I am already stalking the website for 2012 tickets.

Then I spent the past week studying for my GMAT exam which I finally took this past Saturday. And it went pretty well, I must say! I beat the minimum score that I was willing to not cry about, but I didn't get quite as high as I had hoped. All in all, I feel as though I succeeded, even if my final score left me with a subtle feeling of mediocrity. I did what I set out to do, and I think that was "enough". And then to cap off the weekend, I had my final softball game of the fall with my girls. And I couldn't have been proud of the progress they made. My star pitcher struck out the side in the first inning, hitters swung aggressively, and the shyest girl on the team FINALLY said her first words of the season. Could not have asked for much more. Ok, maybe a win, but with all the good that came out of the game, it's hard to get too caught up (Note: This concept will be mentioned in a future post about a current book that I am reading "Inside Out Coaching"- If there are any other youth coaches reading this, go out and buy it now, such a wonderful message!).

So now that the exam is behind me, and I do not have to spend my evenings forcing myself to study, I have turned my attentions towards my next endeavor, being the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean! OK fine, that was Amelia Earhart, but still I am flying across the Atlantic, just neither solo nor the first woman. I leave Thursday evening for my long anticipated vacation to Nice. I could not be more excited! I have taken roughly 1 day off of work in the last 8 months. This is a long time in the making. A week on the French Riviera. There are worse things. Not to mention, U of Miami has the Thursday night game this week, so it's the perfect opportunity to get to the airport early, have a few beers and watch the U just in time ot fall asleep on my 10:40pm flight! I've been shopping, and shopping, and shopping! Whether it's for American products that my hosts have requested or for new clothes that I need to keep up with the elite of the Côte d'Azur, I have certainly spent more than I made in softball lessons this month! But that's ok I think, I don't spoil myself often. And I have to give a major shout out to my friend Tonya who has so kindly hooked me up with some amazing new pieces that are either showroom samples or designer hand me downs. Thank you for sending me off in style!

Tonight, I am packing. Ok, fine, after this post I will pack. Of course, once I catch up on Gossip Girl and Greys Anatomy then the packing REALLY begins. Assuming Mickey doesn't want to play or my dance party kicks into high gear. Yes, I will most certainly be packing tomorrow night. Sigh...

Oh ya, that brings me to Mickey- I know that everyone is wondering what he's been doing while I've been so busy! Well, this weekend, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but long story short (or has that ship sailed?), he was on the losing end of a fight. Vet thinks it was a raccoon, Dad thinks it was a pile of wood. Let's face it, either one would kick his tucus- he's not exactly fierce. But his underside is deeply scratched and he has several open wounds in his paw webs. Poor little boy is in a cone for two weeks. ::pause for effect:: It's pathetic. Day one has not been kind to him.

But less about him and more about me: I anticipate having some amazing stories to share when I come back from my trip, and probably more photos than I will know what to do with. So if you are among the 3% that check every morning for what I have written next, I hope that this morning is a pleasant surprise and great start to your day. And the rest of you, I'll be in touch soon enough.

I do have one last favor to ask of all of my kind readers (and no, not my Readers- I'm not even sure any of you read this, ok maybe my Mom). If you happen to notice that you are the 1,000th viewer, leave me a comment and call yourself out, and I will buy you a drink at the place of your choosing! Even if it means I have to pay you a visit out of Atlanta!

À bientôt, mes amis! Bisous!

C. L. Who (trying it out)

P.S.- I will also buy a drink for anyone who can name the Griffin House reference imbedded in this post. Good night, and good luck.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

So while Julie Andrews has the market cornered on raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, I decided that I wanted to compose a miniature ode to some of my favorite things that I use to fill my mind with when I need a smile.

I got this idea from the pilot episode of Friends where Phoebe starts singing her rendition of the infamous song to calm Rachel's nerves. Everything in life relates to an episode of Friends. I will maintain this philiosophy as long as I live.


So, without any further delay, here are a few of my favorite things and the items that I count on in my life:



My Girls

This is a photo of the first All-Star team that I coached. It lives in a frame on my dresser and reminds me constantly of my time on the field and how much I love coaching. These girls challenge me everytime I see them, even though they don't know it. But they constantly give me new problems to solve, wisdom to teach, and very often, a good laugh. So if I were to write a song about MY favorite things, I would name each and everyone of them.




My Mickey

Seriously, look at this face! His ears don't even match! And even though you can't see it, his tongue hangs down half way to the floor. I'm always afraid he's going to catch it on something when he takes off running in the woods. This sweet loving animal never ceases to entertain me and make me smile. Whether it's pulling all of his toys into the closet and building a mort (that would be a Mickey fort...Mickey+fort = mort, you following yet? Very complex math, it's ok), pawing me in the face an hour before I actually need to be awake, or chasing his tail until he falls into the wall, he's my bud and he keeps me accountable. Not to mention, he is an unlimited source of painstakingly (emphasis on the pain) hysterical jokes that you all get to read about.

Everyone should have a Mickey.






Pig

This one has to go directly after Mickey because one is not possible without the other. This is a squeeky toy that I bought at the gourmet dog market for far more than anyone should spend on a dog toy, but I pasted this as a video so that you could hear the sound that it actually makes. Funniest. Sound. Ever. The only thing that makes this sound any better than it actually is? When Mickey picks it up to play without me knowing, I always jump out of my seat. And I think he knows this and chooses his times misely (Mickey wisely...reference the previous section if you have any trouble with the math). This stupid pig makes me laugh, never fail.

My Calendar

For those of you that know me well, this makes perfect sense. I love to plan. I need to know what my next 3 weeks look like to the day. Some people appreciate this, others do not. But that's how I roll. I mean, take a look at it- I'm a busy girl. And if I ever lose this, I'm in TROUBLE. But why is this in a list of my favorite things? I take comfort in managing my calendar. I love spending time filling in dates and times and activities and having a visual representation of what I do with my time. That and it just makes me feel like I have everything in order and well organized. Not to mention, I get to use all of my colored pens, pencils, highlighters, whatever I can find. It's really a grown up coloring book.


My Friends

 

This is a constantly evolving category, but there are a few staples that I count on. The people featured have been at different times my rocks, my confidantes, my roommates, my biggest challenges, my greatest rewards, and my favorite people. I appreciate the fact that these people accept me for who I am and allow me to be comfortable in my own skin. And most of you know that if I'm cranky, all you have to do is feed me and all will be well in the world again. We've shared laughs, smiles, tears, and many other sappy emotions. So my hats off to you, you truly outstanding people. You all really are the Mickey's pajamas . And if you didn't make it into the photo collage, don't be offended, it most likely just means that I didn't have a photo on hand. Or it means I don't really like you...could go either way. If you would like, I can dedicate my next post to a photo contest. $15 entry fee. Checks payable to Mickey.


Well folks, there you have it. Just a small sampling of a few of my favorite things. I have a strong sense that there will be a Part 2 in the months to come. But I encourage you all to think about what your favorite things are. What are the things that you count on for a smile during the day? Hope a few of you will share!

We Have the Technology!

But does that mean that we should use it?

I've actually been writing this post in my head all week. I've had so many thoughts about the impact that social media has on our day to day interactions. It started when I caught myself midweek having a conversation with someone via Gchat while also returning emails with them. The topics of both communication were entirely seperate, thus it appears there was a mutual agreement to keep the lines of communication seperate. And this got me thinking...are we being more efficient, or less efficient? I am able to cover more topics in arguably less time. But am I being more personal or more impersonal?

I let it slide until I caught myself 2 days later in the exact same situation, except this time it was via email and my Facebook wall. The topics at hand were slightly more aligned, but why on earth could we not just hash it all out in one centralized location? The odd part to me was that it just seemed natural to communicate the way that we were, and everyone just accepts it.

So there are two thoughts that I had here. 1) How do we decide what the proper line of communication is with another person? Does each form of social media or email or text or calling have such specific roles in our culture that we instinctively know the right one to pick? I am inclined to say NO because we all know some genius who inevitably posts the wrong thing on our Facebook wall or texts us about something far too personal that requires a conversation. 2) Is there ever a point where these multiple channels will collide? Why do I need a GChat, a Facebook, a Skype, a Twitter, a LinkedIn, a Blogger, a text, an email, and a BBM (Blackberry Messenger for those of you who have never had one) when I can manage them all via my cell, my laptop, or my iPad? Why can't there just be one centralized area? It's so much work and I just don't get it. I am guilty of it too, but I don't know why I do it.

Even as I am typing this post, I am talking on Gchat, have Facebook up in the background, and am texting with a friend. My brain is overstimulated trying to keep up. Perhaps this is why I can't sleep anymore, the overstimulation of too many channels. It's all becoming noise to my brain. That coupled with the fact that each of these channels makes their own unique noise, technology is getting so loud that I can't hear myself type. I am not calling for a revolution or suggesting that we all turn our backs on these forms of communication, but really people? Can't we just all get together and agree to use one way to communicate? Afterall, we all agreed NOT to use Google +.

As I see it, here are the main reasons to use each of these sites:

Facebook: You just have to. It's the only way to really prove that you exist. Afterall, would you trust anyone who doesn't have a FB profile?
Gmail/Gchat: Your college email address ran out and this was the next best thing. One day someone sent you a Gchat and thus your buddy list was born.
Skype: Either you want to talk to someone in a foreign country and don't want to buy a phone card, you want to video chat and don't own a MAC, or you are still holding onto the fact that this was the cool new thing from 2005.
LinkedIn: You don't want an employer to see what's on your real Facebook profile, so you're HOPING they find this one first.
Blogger: Clearly, you just have great taste. That or you don't care to take the time to tag every single one of your Facebook friends in a "note" that everyone will be pissed that you tagged them in.
Email: The only true original form of online communication.
Text: You are hiding your awkwardness by allowing yourself sufficient time to think of a perfect response or witty comeback that your friends can approve of and can claim you were "busy" when it takes you an hour to come up with a decent joke.
Blackberry Messenger: You feel the need to get something unique out of the crappy data plan that Blackberry provides. This is about it.
Twitter: You have a strong opinion that you want to share, but you don't actually want anyone to comment on. 

As I mentioned, I've been working on this post for a few days, trying to really draw a conclusion that I felt was worthwhile, and Friday night was just the icing on my technology cake. I agreed to go to Yom Kippur services with my father, and while we were sitting in temple waiting for services to start, I brought up something that I had seen on Facebook. At that point, my 72 year old father, who only joined Facebook a few months ago because he wanted the coupons that he was promised for "Liking" his local Huddle House, told me that he and my mother had their first "Facebook fight". Apparently a fellow professor that he works with left the following post on his wall:

"Hey Handsome! I didn't know it was your Birthday today! Have a good one!"

I think that any of us who have ever had a significant other and a Facebook account simultaneously know exactly how this discussion went between the two of them. And I couldn't help but laugh out loud, in the middle of temple. The only thing that could have made this story any better would have been for my parents to have had this conversation over Gchat! Don't worry, I'm 95% sure that neither of them know what that is :).  I share this story not because it is "funny" but because it was so pertinent to how pervasive the challenges of social media and today's technology actually are. Even my parents feel the stresses of it. Fascinating!

So I leave you with this. And I do hope that you will think about it over the next week or so as you communicate. Why do you choose the line of communication that you do? What posseses you to send a Facebook message instead of an email? Do you have a different status message on Gchat than Twitter? When do you pick up the phone and call a friend instead of sending a text? Is there a standard role for the different forms of communication that we use day to day- and if so, can we combine and condense? I know I'd sure appreciate it.

As always, your thoughts are much appreciated, especially because I know we all have unique feelings on this very topic! And just for fun, why don't you tell me the channel via which you keep up with my blog: Gchat, Facebook, Blogger follower, checking in from time to time, or because my mother emailed it to you :) Could be a fun experiment!

The Weighting Game

About a year and a half ago I decided that I was tired of the extra weight that I put on towards the end of college. So I set out to start making some lifestyle changes and get myself into better shape and health at a point in my life where it is easy to do so. Because as I am constantly reminded these days...I ain't getting any younger. And while I know that I have lost a decent amount in this time, I don't think that I had stopped to quantify it at any point. And over the period of the last week or two, I've noticed that I have hit another round of weight loss. Several comments were made about how I'm" fading away" or "skin and bones" (Although to be fair, this one was out on a Saturday night and a new friend was using this as an argument to encourage me to have a piece of cookie cake. Little did he know, the words cookie cake would have been magic enough). And then I really started thinking about it last week when a friend expressed concern over how much I have lost. So I sat down and did some math. I lost 147 pounds!?!?! Oh wait...sorry, 45. Sloppy math, my B.

I have lost 45 pounds in the last year and a half. And while we ladies don't reveal our weight very willingly, I'll just tell you that was roughly a quarter of my body weight. I am 3/4 the person I was. 75% of me is left. Ok I'm out of proportions to describe this. But I think you get the picture. I really hadn't thought about it this way. I was just trying to take better care of myself, and I think that I have done that successfully. So there is a great feeling of accomplishment that goes along with this.

So today, basking in the glory of said accomplishment, and having a few free hours thanks to one of my students cancelling last minute, I decided that I wanted a few new items to compliment my closet. I have bought a few pieces as each new season rolls around, just enough to get me through. But now that it seems the weight is staying off, I have purged my closet. Out with the old and in with the new!! Much easier said than done.

I don't know how to shop for my new body. I have somehow waded through picking clothing that will go on me and stay on my body, but I don't know what type of clothing looks best on only 75% of me. And now that I am actually seeing the weightloss in the mirror, I see the difference. Sometimes I stop and just look because I can't believe that's me in the mirror, there's 25% missing!

So here's my problem. I have an almost barren closet now, a little bit of cash to spend, no idea where to go or what to buy.and no one to help me shop. I feel a little bit like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman looking for a cocktail dress (minus the whole hooker thing, of course). I need everything. Work clothes, casual clothes, work out clothes, even down to new bras, because mine are starting to stray when I make any sudden movements (sorry to the boys who are reading this, it's an annoyance you will just never understand). It's all a little overwhelming. I don't want to spend a fortune on clothes, but I would like some decent pieces and maybe even a little bit of style. The frustrations that I experience trying to buy clothes just leave me stomping out of the store and feeling down that I can't even pick out stupid clothes. So I just avoid going. I can hide no more. I am using my European vacation at the end of the month as my motivator to get this closet back in shape.

Does anyone have any suggestions of places where I should be shopping? I tend to go to the same 2 or 3 stores and always end up with the same versions of the same boring stuff. I do not want to put those same boring clothes back in my closet or back on me. Where are all the kids shopping these days, where should I find the cool new threads? -20 points to anyone who sends me to Urban Outfitters though. A new me requires a new wardrobe. Any insight is very much appreciated. Be warned, I do hate the idea of clothes shopping online, so keep those suggestions to yourself :)

And of course, anyone who is willing to play personal shopper and go out with me, pick out some clothes, and suffer through helping me pick out clothes receives a free lunch on me!

Enough is Enough is Enough

This is a word that I have come to ponder over and over so much lately that it may start to lose it's meaning soon. And I would be just fine with that. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enuff. Enuv. Eneuve. Aneuve. Deneuve. Catherine Deneuve! No? It's a very funny joke for any francophiles out there.

Anyway, enough of that (pun intended), back to the subject at hand. This word has been haunting me lately. As someone who likes rules and structure and limits, this word could not be more useless. What is enough? When is enough? How much is enough?

How often do you find yourself asking any questions internally with this word? And do you ever have an answer that satisfies you? It can't be done, because it's not a thing.

Constantly I am frustrated with myself for not doing enough, not being enough. But how can I chide myself when there is no real parameter? I'm not thin enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough. Well, I'm thin, pretty, and smart, so at what point did this annoying word work its way into my process? At what point along any line does this word creep into our thoughts. It's not defined, so where did it come from?

I set a goal to study for 2 hours tonight. I studied for 2 hours. Yet I finished and thought "I didn't study enough". How can that be? How is it that I did not hit an undefined goal when I did hit an actual goal? It baffles me.

Let's scale it back and even go simpler here. Mom asks "did you get enough to eat?" How do you answer?? Well I ate enough that I'm not going to rip someone's head off, but I didn't eat enough that I won't want a snack in an hour. I also ate enough that an African child would be jealous, yet not enough to be classified as a Louis C.K. Cinnabun joke.  Seriously, what is enough?

I am seeing it as a multi variable equation (perhaps that's the not enough hours of studying talking). But some number x plus some number y equals another number z (x+y =z, right? check my math if you must). X is equal to "enough". What is the value here? Completely and utterly useless. Yet it still plagues us all. We just can't quite solve the problem.

Don't even get me started on "Dayenu" (Figured I should throw in some Jewish humor- being Rosh Hashana and all).

Alas, I digress. At this point, I believe that I have said "enough". Enough. E-nuph. E-noff. E-nov. Almost there.


On another note: Many of you have told me how much you have been enjoying my blog, and I certainly appreciate your input and kind words. I continue to encourage you all to comment on my thoughts, enhance my ideas, and offer your own advice. I would love to know what you all are thinking about my topics. I am not here merely to talk at you- that would not be "enough" (see what I did there :) ). But my goal here is to create communication- dialogue, if you will. I only aspire to create jumping off points, and the occasional laugh.

My Sketchier Side

This weekend I had a chance to sit down and visit with a friend for a little bit. She has been reading my blog and had some ideas that she was very kind to share. Perhaps the one that I took to the most was the idea of keeping a sketch book. Now, for anyone reading who does not know my very well- I'm not an artist. I have never had any desire to be artistic. I took a drawing class once in college because they made me. I didn't hate that, but the ideas of inspiration never took. Just not my thang.

However, as my friend the art teacher described the purpose of the sketch book, I understood it in a new light. It's not just for artists who want to create the masterpieces of their lives; it's a private visual diary. I don't have to show it to anyone. I don't have to explain to anyone why I drew what I drew or wrote what I wrote. I kind of liked that idea. She talked to me about balance in the types of activities in my life, and I've never had any type of creative expression before, unless you count the doodles I make all over my agenda in my weekly Tuesday client meetings. I've never wanted or thought I needed it. But right now it seems like something I should try.

So I went out and bought a sketch book and a few very basic supplies. It reminded me a little bit of the time that Dizzle and I were inspired to start knitting in college, went to WalMart at 9pm on a school night and came running back home so that our neighbor could cast off for us and we could start our first scarves. I hope this new hobby will last longer than the 3 days of knitting.

So I have tried to start thinking about what I want to do with it. What are my thoughts that I can't use words for? What colors do I want to see on paper? What mediums do I want to create with? I'm not sure where to pull inspiration from. So my question to all of you for today is, where do you pull inspiration from? And this doesn't have to be just for my artsy friends, but for anyone. What things inspire you to think a little differently? What makes you pause and reflect?

I hope that I can start to fill some pages, and maybe I'll even post a few pages on here if I feel particularly proud, or if it might inspire a fun post. But at this point, I can't promise that I won't have an entire book full of stick figure sketches of Mickey. But if I do, I think the whole point of this exercise tells me that would be just fine.

Little Victories

Well today was interesting. My day started out by waking up in my sports bra at 6:30am with Mickey on my feet. Now half of this is not an odd occurance, but when I stood up and immediately fell back down, I knew this was not any ordinary hang over. So I did what any self respecting girl does...Laid back down, closed my eyes and promised that I would NEVER drink again. That lasted until about noon when I was ready for a cocktail :)

So finally around 8:00...fine 8:15...OK 8:47, I drug myself out of bed, cursed my apartment complex for not having an elevator, cursed myself for not having a Segway with attachable dog walking component and made my way through the cold rainy morning walk. Coupled with the general down-ness of the last few days, this day was not off to a great start.

But by the time I got to work and started to actually live in the day (and suffer the hangover), I somehow got through. I laughed out loud. I hadn't realized it until today, but that was probably the first real laugh I heard from myself in a few weeks. It felt awesome. It was almost euphoric in fact. I value laughter and its effects very much. Win #1.

Day passes and weather gets worse, which I actually kind of liked. Cancelled my softball lessons, came home and still feeling post-hangover effects thought about the treadmill. Luckily, Coach Synthia kicked in tonight. She made me get on the treadmill, increase the speed, increase the time, and sweat last nights beer off. Great workout, Win #2.

And now at this point, I was thinking, this has been a good day. I should run upstairs, take some Nyquil, call it a day and bow out while all is well, George Costanza style. Then that damn Coach showed up again and put my butt in the chair and pulled out not just my GMAT study guide, but the "Advanced" book that someone tricked me into thinking was a great idea. Sometimes after studying out of this book, I like to make flash cards with basic addition just to rebuild my ego. Good news is that I have mastered all addition under the number 10...any shot that will be on the exam? Anyway, I started working in the hard book, and I got things right. I didn't get them all right, no no no no no. But I got some right, and that my fine friends is a little something I like to call progress. Look it up if you need to :) Win #3.

So now that I have completed the grand trifecta I would like to call my day, I think it's time to sit back, relax, and catch up on Gossip Girl...WIN or FAIL? I'm not sure here, but I'm ok with it!

As a side note, I know that there are some of you who have been reading, and I would love some feedback just to know who's out there! Not you, Hogan.

Fall in Atlanta

Despite the rainy weather this morning, there is a certain coolness in the air that can only mean 1 thing: FALL IS HERE! For anyone who has never had the joy of living in Atlanta during the fall, this is the single best time of year in this city. The leaves start turning, the temperature is just cool enough to not be cold, and the activities are unparalleled. I'm pretty psyched.

Anyway, in an attempt to maximize my enjoyment of this beautiful season upcomming, I want to try and get a handle on all of the amazing festivals and events that are just around the corner. I know that I will be going to Decatur Beer Fest on October 15, going to a Clemson game Oct. 8, and other than that, I am pretty open to suggestions.

So what I am hoping for is any reccommendations for Atlanta Fall "Must-Dos". What are the events that you look forward to all year that I have been missing out on? Anything dog friendly is also a plus!

And although the official start of Fall is this Friday, I would like to make a pre-emptive toast to what is arguably the actual "most wonderful time of the year".

Getting Motivated

So it turns out that Coach Synthia has not been as successful a motivator for Everyday Synthia as she is for 10-14 year old girls. Perhaps that's because I can't chase myself out of the dugout. Or maybe it's really hard to take myself seriously when I tell myself to take a lap, because I know if I don't do it, I just can't stay mad at this face!

A minor set back over the weekend, taking a practice GMAT exam and doing much more poorly than I had hoped and been working very hard for. It has forced me to question everything that I feel I am working towards, and I fear this might be a hard obstacle to overcome. I didn't want to study yesterday, so I didn't. I don't want to study tonight, but I think I have to. This is not how I want to try and learn, this is not how I will be successful. I'm not sure where I stand and where I am going, so I feel as though I am grasping for footing somewhere. There's no one to catch me if I fall, so I have to get my feet on something before I slip. I need a little help getting pumped up again. We all need a cheerleader.

So where can we pull motivation from when it does not feel readily available? When quitting your job and packing the car as full as you can get it and driving to somewhere a week away seems the best idea you've got, how do you talk yourself out of it? If I were bowling right now, I would ask the manager to put the bumpers up, just to give me a little help finding the right direction. Obviously there are no bumpers here, if there were, Mickey would have chewed them to pieces anyway.

My Life as a Coach

For anyone who doesn't know, I am a softball coach. I've been doing private pitching and hitting instruction for the better part of the last 4 years. And just this year I have take to coaching a team as well. I love working with the girls. I love spending time on the field, sharing the game I love with girls who want to learn about it (well, atleast those who aren't there by sheer force of their fathers who never quite made it in baseball).

This week, I had a fantastic moment. A 13 year old who I have been working with for the last month or two finally got her first chance to pitch in a game. And she KILLED it! 3 innings pitched, 5 strikeouts, and the thing that excited her the most? No hit batters :) I was so excited for her and so very proud of her, I knew she was ready.

So I got to thinking about myself as a coach and the contrast between "Coach Synthia" and "Everyday Synthia". There is a bit of a discrepency. "Coach Synthia" is a confident, aggressive...well, hard-ass, for lack of a better term. I expect nothing less than 120% out of my players and students, I don't take excuses, and I want my girls to believe in themselves and work hard. "Everyday Synthia" does not approach the world in the same way. She's a little more tentative and content to float around, take her time, and maybe she'll get there, maybe she won't. She worries a lot. This version of Synthia also has her moments of brilliance but just not quite the same fire.

How does one of these derive from the other? Which game first, and which is real? It seems as though there should be more of a congruence between my two selves. I like the "Coach" in me, the passion, the confidence. Perhaps I should spend a week channeling my inner coach. Maybe she can push me the last 5 minutes of my runs when my legs aren't quite burning, but my breath is running short and I am ready to slow my pace. Maybe she can get me up out of bed 30 minutes earlier to do my hair and have time to play with Mickey. And maybe, just maybe, she can even get me up off my butt, down 3 flights of stairs, and into my car to clean it out...Ok, she's good, but let's not push our luck!

Breaking the Rules

Ok I am doing something I swore I would not do as soon as I decide to start blogging. Writing on a sad night. However, I managed to justify this post because I am not using this as an arena to vent my feelings but instead explore the inner works of how to cope with being down.

As the point of this whole blog is to understand how the life of a single 20-something is supposed to play out, what do people do to cope with the sadness that inevitably creeps in?

It's been two weeks since he left. Last week wasn't awful. I got to work every day, I fed myself, the dog was taken care of, and I even managed to have a few smiles and good days.

This week has not been the same success. Perhaps it's reality setting in a little more and coming to grips with the changes that I was able to dismiss last week. Life is not bad, I get that, I'm not trying to say that it is. I am not "unfortunate", in fact I am quite the opposite.

So allow me to progress from "how do you spend your time?" to "how do you spend your 'down' time?". So far, my best attempts have involved watching Project Runway, and since I watched the last DVRed episode last night, I am counting on Mickey's sheer wit to get me through the evening. Oh boy, I'm in trouble.

Sometimes I think there's more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking

Ok so I've finally decided to jump aboard the blogging train.

I've been in and out of serious relationships the better part of my adult life, always had roommates, or just been plain unwilling to spend time on my own. So now, here I am, living on my own- no boyfriend this side of the Atlantic (or Pacific if you want to get really technical) and just trying to figure out what it is single 20-somethings do with their day to day life. It's a phenomnon that has come to fascinate me as of late.

Now for me, I am pretty active whether I am playing tennis, coaching softball, taking a class, working, at the dog park, trying on every piece of clothing my closet (don't act like you've never done it!) or just meeting a friend for dinner. However, it's my time at home and my time alone that I tend to struggle with.

So I open my inaugural post with a question- This one's for all the laaaaaaaadiez! What do you do with your free time? Television is not an acceptable answer. It's a last resort (don't be offended).

My hope is that I can create a forum for 20-something singles to vent, share stories, advice, recipes, sales, anything you want. I'll post my musings and observations from time to time. I'll be wrong more often than not, so please be kind. We are all here to help each other, blah blah blah.