Merry Christma-Channuk-Wanza-kuh!

The traditional seasonal greeting.

Well, atleast in today's society.

As a half-breed, I feel so demographically homogenous in today's society. Coming from a half-Jewish, half-not family, I don't feel so special anymore. Atleast not in terms of my Atlanta heritage. In Richmond, I think I am still an anomoly. At any given time, I'm really just a beer away from being asked if I know Adam Sandler. (I don't, for anyone who is still curious)

But I still own my cultural heritage, because it is part of who I am. I grew up lighting the candles and spinning the dreidle and I try to maintain these traditions to the best of my ability. I want to make sure that my Mickey has a strong sense of where he came from :)

So as I start to prepare myself for my first journey home next weekend for the holiday season, I reflect upon this holiday season and the gems that it is about to bestow upon me (mostly my mother telling my dog that he is sufficient until any further grandchildren present themselves), and I want to wish all of my friends and followers and family a happy holiday season.

Embrace the holiday spirit, whatever that holiday may be. And if the holiday season (or the 9 shopping days left) does not so move you, then channel deep inner thoughts of Ho-Ho-Hos and Egg Nog and latkes and tacky lights, or whatever it is that really touches you deep down on a holiday type level so that you are tolerable at a holiday party.

Beacuse the holidays are real and they are spectacular. Tell those you love that you love them, and those that you don't that you do anyway (a little white-lie never hurt anyone).

And before you know it, it will be 2013 and we will be onto whining about new things all over again, so enjoy the holiday spirit while you can.

A most joyous of seasons to you all, my friends. To Jews and non-Jews alike, we are all but one holiday melting pot known as December.

L'Chaim.

CLW

Rap Songs White Girls Love

Recently, I've made a fantastic discovery...

The rap section of my satellite radio stations.

Now I know what you are thinking "How can this white girl from East Cobb (for my Richmond friends, think Short Pump) possibly know anything about good rap?" Valid question. I don't. I am, however, quite well versed in terrible pop rap. While attending high school (not in snobby East Cobb where I grew up) I was more of a demographic minority and was exposed to a much wider array of rap music. Most of which I chose to ignore and opt for whatever 95.5 The Beat told me I liked in those late 1990s/2000s years. Side note: did anyone ever decide what we are calling the early 2000s? Or are we just kind of skipping over that reference and pretending it never happened, kind of like Lindsey Lohan's music career?

So as I have been getting back in touch with my high school music roots with the discovery of my new satellite stations, I've been thinking about some of my favorite "rap" songs. And simultaneously realizing that absolutely none of them are getting any air time on these legit stations. Quite frankly, I've really just been changing back and forth between the 4 or so channels in hopes that Baby Got Back will be on so that I can roll down the windows and impress all of Richmond with how I know every single lyric unlike anyone else. So far, no dice. But who understands those rap stations anyway? I mean their playlists, they're just so BIG!

But you other brothers can't deny, there really is no need to look much farther than my own embarrasing Spotify playlists to identify a subset of songs that all girls love to listen to and proclaim that they "love rap music".

1. Sisqo: Thong Song
2. Sir Mix A Lot: Baby Got Back
3. P. Diddy: Shake Ya Tailfeather
4. Salt N' Peppa: Shoop
5. TLC: No Scrubs
6. 50 Cent: In Da Club
7. DMX: Party Up
8. Akon: Smack That
9. Beyonce: Single Ladies
10. Outkast: Hey Ya
11. Tag Team: Whoomp There It Is
12. Destiny's Child: ANYTHING
13. Ginuwine: Pony
14. Nelly: Country Grammar
15. Jay-Z: Hard Knock Life
16. Jennifer Lopez: Jenny From the Block
17. Ashanti: Always On Time
18. Jagged Edge: Let's Get Married
19. Juvenile: Back That Azz Up
20. Lil' Jon: Get Low

Ok, Cosmo-stlye quiz time. Even though when it comes to music, Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection. So...how many of these did you read over and immediately respond "OMG! That's my soooooong"?

15-20 OMGs
False. You do not like rap music. You are probably a white girl that grew up in the 90s though. Well done, you may collect your complimentary glow in the dark slap bracelet and scrunchie upon completion of this post.

10-14 OMGs
Congratulations! You went to college in the last 15 years! Or atleast to the frat parties...

5-9 OMGs
You listen to a lot of country music, don't you? That's ok, I do too. For you I offer an alternate list:
Dixie Chicks: Wide Open Spaces
Rascal Flatts: Bless the Broken Road
Brad Paisley: Alcohol
Kenny Chesney: She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
Reba McEntire: Fancy
Sugarland: Baby Girl
Martina McBride: This One's For the Girls
Faith Hill: This Kiss
Does this list seem to be a little more in the right direction for you? Thought it might be. Nothing wrong with that.

0-4 OMGs
Don't worry, Mom, I'll play you a few of these rap tunes that the kids be listenin' to, yo.



Fun fact: I've done more than one of the songs on this list at karaoke...in front of people...in public. True that.

If you can come up with any others that I have left off the list, please feel free to chime in. It's a pretty fun exercise, until you realize that the music you've been listening to actually kind of sucks. Oh well, that's why we have the freedom to hide our playlists on Facebook, whew!

The Faces of Your Job

Raise your hand if you work in corporate America. Ok, now put your hand down. Now raise it again to re-confirm.

Now put your hand down - you look ridiculous raising your hand by yourself. Gotcha! Bazinga! Anyway...

But if you felt so moved to raise it the first time (not so much the second time since that was just me having a little fun), then you have probably come into contact with some very colorful personalities in your office work space during your stint in Corporate Land.

Not that I'm a seasoned vetern in the work force by any means, but I've been immersed in the corporate circus called "my career" just long enough to have identified several commonalities across jobs and industries. I'm comfortable enough with this petite sample size to draw some conclusions about a few office staples that I think we have all become too familiar with.

The Mail Room Guy: Every office that I've ever worked in has THAT guy. The guy who runs the mail room. Maybe you know him as the Office Manager. Maybe you have seen him lurking behind your car on his lunch break. Maybe you have seen him adding your friends on Facebook. Maybe he's your brother. However you've gotten to "know" him, you know the creeper I'm talking about.

The Freaker-Outer: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! Can you BELIEVE they got rid of the Earl Grey Tea?!?!?! It's unacceptable, I tell you! Who's with me!! Ya, her. Avoid her in the hallways, she WILL corner you, and she WILL have a petition for you to sign.

The Person Who Is ALWAYS right: The worst part is most offices have several of these. I think that this person is possibly one of the most versatile in today's line up, often finding his or herself in one of several other categories on this list. But it does not matter what the topic is or what the outcome is; they have to be right and you have to be wrong. About something. Anything. They are usually the last one to speak in a meeting, and it's only to point out that you said "their" instead of "they're" at the beginning of your presentation before big boss leaves the room and after everyone has already forgotten you spoke.

The Snitch: Did you accidentally leave a coffee stir on the counter in the kitchen this morning? Leave it to Cranky Cathy to send you an email with the President of the company CCed alerting everyone that company policy 437, section B on page 218 of the employee handbook clearly states that coffee stirs are not allowed to be left on the countertop for no more than 3 seconds at a time, unless in the case of fire. So unless there is a fire that hasn't reached CC's desk yet...she is correct, you are in violation of the code. And now everyone will see your weakness.

The Bitch: There's always atleast one. They tend to travel in packs. They will judge your shoes and your work. You can't stop it. Probably safest if you just assume this role yourself.

The Gossip: She's like Gretchen Wieners on Mean Girls- her hair is so big because it's full of secrets. No matter what's going on in the office, she always knows...even if it hasn't even happened yet. Maybe she's planted bugs in the bathroom walls, maybe she's monitoring your emails, maybe people just trust her too much because you know that if you cough up something interesting for her, she will "one-up" any secret you can possibly lay out on the table. Do not cross her (or him...but let's be honest...probably her).

The "What Does He DO?" Guy: You definitely know this personality becuase they are always at your desk. Sometimes with a golf club over their shoulder. Usually trying to talk you into going to Happy Hour at 2pm. They are never actually doing anything.  Office full of games and toys? Check. King of email forwards? Check. 2-day work weeks? Check. What do they do???? (FYI...probably Sales)

The Crazy Cat Lady: She's really nice. And she has a lot of cats. She inspires you not to be her when you grow up. Not to mention that she makes you thankful that you have dogs.

The Week Night Partier: This one is usually pretty easy to pin point in the building. Just follow the perpetual vodka-soaked stench. In case you were not blessed with great olfactory senses, then just keep an eye out for anyone sporting the same threads day after day, disheveled hair, and probably still a stamp on their hand from the night before. And by night before I mean they left the club and came straight to the office. Possibly a quick nap in their car in the back of the parking lot if they were lucky. So if you are one of those that gets to the office before opening hours, keep an eye out for the late 90s Honda in the back corner of the parking lot with reclined seats. I recommend parking next to them and honking your horn as a friendly wake up call.


Now if you are sitting here thinking to yourself, "I don't know any of these people", then you do NOT have a real job. I suggest you go get one. Actually, after rereading these descriptions, I take it back. Keep your job...send me an application!

A New Life, A New Blog

Alright Party People, you asked and you shall receive.

Over the last few months, I have had several requests for a change in layout and theme that fits more in line with who I am. A photo less than 5 years old, a less seizure-inducing color schematic, and a new tag line. Ok, fine, maybe you didn't ask for all those things, but that's what you get.

Since the tone of the page has changed over the last few months to go along with the new scenery of my life, it only seems fitting to have made one additional overhaul...my page.

So, I hope you like the new face of Cindy Lou Who. And if not, please feel free to submit a handwritten letter of complaint to the Management Team (and by Management Team, I would hope that you all know by now, I obviously mean Mickey).

Happy Reading!

My Life As a Sitcom

I had an interesting realization this week. Well, more like last week. They are all starting to blur together...

But have you ever had that startling moment where you are laying on your couch in your casual Sunday sweats, eating potato chips on your sandwich and watching a Friends marathon and all of a sudden realized..."Holy crap, my life is NOT a sitcom"?

If you answered no to the above question, just stop reading now and go back to your spot at Central Perk with Chandler, Joey, Monica and the gang. There's not much more here for you.

And for those that answered "Yes" to the above question...what a BUZZ KILL is that? Am I right? Now obviously I don't picture myself living in New York with a nuclear group of my 5 closest friends, but similar to my beef with the false promises that Rom-Com's have breeded for the average single girl for the last 27+ years of my life, I have found in sitcoms.

As an avid Friends fanatic, I grew up on a show that promised me a super close group of friends that all live on the same block and have fun adventures and give me something to aspire to "when I get to be their age". And then one day, when you are laying on the couch eating potato chips you are smacked in the face with the realization that "Holy crap, my life is NOT a sitcom." It's no longer about when I get to be their age, this is how things will be, but now it's "I'm at their age, and this is what I haven't done". Sure, I could try to be a little more like my Friends counterparts and walk across the hall to my neighbors apartment in my pajama pants and take milk out of their fridge for my bowl of Special K that I brought in my own quirky themed bowl, but I'm not sure that this is how I want to awkwardly introduce myself to the couple across the hall or finally have my first arrest on record. Maybe I should take a page out of Monica's book and atleast bake them a bundt cake or something first.

We spend so many years waiting to live a life that we envisioned, that it can be a jarring discovery to realize that you are past the point of waiting for it to start and are in fact already living it - even if it isn't the hand that you expected to be dealt. And when you stop to look around at every one else around you growing and progressing...getting married, having kids, finishing doctorates, getting promoted, buying houses...all these benchmarks of "growing up" can seem so overwhelming. It can be challenging not to measure your personal accomplishments against those of your peers, especially in a society that so heavily promotes being able to "do it all". How can I "do it all" if I'm not really doing any of it?

The theme for 2012 was not to worry about any of this. A year without a plan, just go with the flow. And I've been very successful at it. But we are running out of time in 2012 and need to start thinking in 2013 terms. Lucky 13...maybe that's next year's theme. The year of George! Er...The year of Cindy Lou! Guess I better go back and familiarize myself with the Resolution Rules before I get too set on the next one.

So, as I ponder these things for myself and start to accept the fact that I am living in the present and can't keep waiting for the future to happen, I challenge all of you to also consider what it is that you want to be in your present that you have been seeing in your future. Or don't. Whatever you're feeling really.

All things said, I do still hope that the Friends do a reunion show someday. I'll totally watch it. The One Where They All File for Social Security.

L'Enfer, C'est Facebook and Politics

L'enfer, c'est les autres.

Translation: Hell is others.

This existentialist motto is one that captivated me as a French major in college. So simple, yet so bold, and completely terrifying. Even though I grew up in the Jewish faith (well, mostly), I still grew up in the southern Bible belt and heard for years about a vision of Hell being all firey and brimstoney and Satan like. Yikes.

And then along came Jean-Paul Sartre, with a completely different explanation for the afterlife in the event that you don't play by the "rules" in the present life. Because what could be worse than being tortured by nemeses for the remainder of eternity?

Well, obviously my buddy J-P never experienced a political season on Facebook (I wonder if he and Simone would have been FB official...)...

Now, before you get entirely heated up and ready to scream your head off at whatever opinion I don't care about, allow me to note that this is not a political post. I don't care who wins the Presidency, honestly. I don't care who the Vice President is. And I can guarantee you that I couldn't name a single Senator in either Georgia or Virginia. Unless they put a bumper sticker on Mickey's rear, I'm probably not going to notice one either.

But anyone who has logged onto Facebook in the last 2 weeks, and for the next few weeks until this painfully annoying process is put to rest, has been completely berated by ridiculous political commentary that we don't really want. Whatever Mitt-bama nonsense people are selling, I ain't buying.

And I pretty much reached my breaking point this morning when the political season managed to ruin my work out. My holy sacred escape, the one time of day that I get entirely to myself, out of contact, free of frustration. I work out in a basement with no cell phone reception, and the only reason I tolerate my crappy musty apartment gym is because there is no cell reception. No one can find me (hopefully no creepers are reading this...). But this morning, my mp3 player was dead. So at 5:45am, struggling to wake up and get my energy going, I figured I could fake it by putting the TV on for some entertainment. In the words of the great Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, "Big Mistake. Huge."

There was only 1 channel available on the TV. An unnamed news network. Ok, not terrible I guess, maybe I'll luck out and catch the sports and weather segments. Wrong. It just happened to be Election Watch hour while I was down there. So at first I decided to give it a go because it couldn't possibly be worse than tiredly running in silence in the wee hours of the morning. Yup, wrong again. It was painful. My body was physically in pain listening to these pundits scream at each other over and over again. I would have rather found the "Nails on a Chalk Board" station.

Therefor, I postulate that L'enfer is NOT les autres. L'enfer is in fact American political season. I hate it, I hate every bit of it. The left wing, the right wing, the middle, ALL of it. I can't wait until November 7th. No, I take that back, maybe the 8th is safer. Atleast by then, I will be able to map out a full listing of all the countries that everyone will insist they are moving to in order to cope with the results of the election. I will then use that map to plan my next vacation of where NOT to go. I'd rather take a trip to L'enfer, because les autres sound way more tolerable than an eternity of listening to any more debates, news casts, Facebook posts, or roadside advocates.

And in case you were wondering about my political affiliations...Mickey/ Jackson 2012 all the way! I'm guessing I'll probably have to write that one in though. The fever hasn't quite caught on at a national level, mostly just in our apartment.

Oh, which reminds me...Rule #6...no bumper stickers.

The Rules of Car Care Are Simple and Finite

I did something big this weekend.

That's right, I bought a new car, the single biggest purchase I've ever made in my life. Not just any car either, but an Audi A4 2.0T. Yeah, I didn't really know what that meant either. All I really know is that it's a shiny silvery blue with leather interior, satellite radio, seat warmers, and tops out around 120mph. And it has a really cool button that does this thing where it makes a "ding" sound! Not sure what it does, but it's like totally the coolest sound ever.

And I freaking love it. Not just because it's a car, but because it's one badass car. I never actually knew that I could care anything about a car, but thank you to my new Audi, Babs, for showing me a side of me that I never thought I had. I'm looking forward to the plethora of speeding tickets that we are sure to rack up in Richmond - the town of the 25mph speed limit.

Now, I do not consider myself a particularly materialistic individual, and I'm rarely one to be "trendy", atleast I think that's what the kids call it these days, but there's something about getting behind the wheel of a sweet ride and basking in the glory that it's all mine, I bought it for myself. I am an In-De-Pen-Dent woman. Girl Power. I depend on me. And whatever other feministic quotation popular music has produced in the last 15 years. I will play all those sweet jams on my bitchin' sound system..

As an ode to my new wheels, I've decided to lay down a few simple ground rules. And for anyone who ever knew of my old Scion, I hope that you will be as amused as I am that there are now stated rules around the existence of my car. This isn't the same dog hair covered, softball equipment toting, no oil change in 2 years shell that I had no qualms about running over curbs with. I now completely understand and encourage the driver who parks at the back of the parking lot across 2 spaces in order to preserve the integrity of each precious angle of their automobile.


Rule #1- There will be NO eating in the Audi. 10 hour road trip? I suggest you consume a healthy portion of protein for breakfast, because there will not be any roadside Pizza flavored Combos brought into the vehicle. A stop at McDonalds? Don't be surprised if I let you out and then ditch you when I go to "park the car". Going out for ice cream on a hot summer eve? I suggest you scarf the entire cone between the cash register and the walk back to the car. Allow me to reiterate...THERE WILL BE NO FOOD IN THE AUDI!

Rule #2- There will be NO drinking in the Audi. Drinks are liquid, and liquids spill, that's just standard science, read any 4th grade text book (actually, don't bother, just take my word for it). You will be granted 1 (one) half filled bottle of water, provided that it has a secured sports top properly affixed in compliance with National Water Bottle Board regulations. Why a half bottle? Excellent question, allow me to move right into the next rule...

Rule #3- There will be NO peeing in the Audi. This applies to anyone and everyone, man and dog alike. Let's assume I decide to take this badass piece of automotive machinery on a road trip and we hit a stretch of I-85 where it's 40 miles to the next rest stop; I don't like them odds. So instead of playing a game of Russian Roulette with the bladder gods, there will be limited intake of H2O if you wish to roll with me and Babs. I expect Mickey to be most impacted by this one.

Rule #4- There will be NO loitering near the Audi. If everyone could just do me a solid and agree to keep a safe perimeter around Babs when she is in Park, that would be stellar. This will prevent me from having to invest in a makeshift safety perimeter that I will store, pull out of the trunk and post upon any trip in public...thereby alienating any of my friends who have already voiced rather strong opinions around "no longer wanting to be seen in public" with me. I'm not sure I can afford the decrease in social activity. Your cooperation in this matter would be greatly appreciated.



I've only had her for about 3 days now, so I'm still finalizing the governing bylaws. For any other OCD, type A car owners out there, are there any additional rules that I should be invoking? Any other simple rules to high strung car ownership of which I should be aware?

Alright, enough crazy for one night. Off to bed so that I can rest up to be in top driving condition for tomorrow. Oh, Rule #5, no fatigued driving.

A Constant Reminder

A stoic mind and a bleeding heart

Quite the contrast. Yet quite the emotion captured on the newest Mumford & Sons album. This has been on repeat all week. Over and over again. Day after day. And this line arrests me with each new listen of the track.

A stoic mind, one free of destructive emotion (or as some may consider it simply "emotion"). Detached. Logical. Free of bias. A systematic way of life. Universal reason, moral well-being, and so on.

A bleeding heart, sympathetic to those around you. Something that a stoic mind can not allow or even comprehend. One who feels. Compassion. Love. Caring. One who can achieve perfect stoicism cannot be sympathetic, because there is no emotion. One necessitates the other.

A perfect internal battle between the head and the heart.

But I believe that the contrast here is not solely between these two elements internally, but externally. This oil and water relationship creates a toxic combination when you bring together the two opposing natures in a relationship. A stoic mind will never properly partner a bleeding heart. It's a safe bet that wrong will be done. And while not intentional, both will be lost as a result will continue to travel oh so long.


REMINDER
by: Mumford & Sons
on: Babel


Don't let me darken your door
That's not what I came here for
No it's not what I came here for

And I won't hear you cry when I'm gone
I won't know if I'm doing you wrong
I never know if I'm doing you wrong

A constant reminder of where I can find her
Light that might give up the way
It's all that I'm asking for without her I'm lost
But my love don't' fade away

So watch the world tear us apart
A stoic mind and bleeding heart
You never see my bleeding heart

And your lights always shining on
And I been traveling oh so long
I been traveling oh so long

A constant reminder of where I can find her
Light that might give up the way
It's all that I'm asking for without her I'm lost
Oh my love don't' fade away
Oh my love don't fade away

Ain't it Funny How a Melody Sounds Like a Memory?

I sat down tonight not to write, but to read. As has become my nightly tradition - mostly so that I can justify the purchase of my new iPad. But also as a catalyst to developing comfortable routines in my new lifestyle to which I have not yet become fully accustomed. And as I started to read, with Sigur Ros on in the background, I was hit with an old memory.

Hoppipola (a track that I anticipate very few of you will be familiar with) began to play. And I was transported. To a chapter of my life that I have pushed so far from my memory that I sometimes forget was really my past. This is the song that I had planned on walking down the aisle to. It was going to be my big surprise to you, becuase I knew it would be perfect. This was a song that made us feel uplifted and joyous. It was the song...of our future. Only it wasn't. And the more extensive irony struck when Spotify cut off mid song and flashed a message, "Error with track, can't be played". Thanks a lot Spotify. Where were you with that one 5 years ago?? Before the house, before the 2 dogs, before the white picket fence (no really, we had one, complete with a gate). Geez, some friend YOU are.

And I'm not sure that it quite struck me until tonight how far removed I have become from a life that was once everything I ever wanted - WE ever wanted - until one day it wasn't. It reminds me that what I thought I wanted, wasn't right. And oddly enough, I look back on what was wrong with such fond memories. I can take pleasure in the fact that I got it wrong, but atleast I figured it out. And we are both the better for it. Both truer to who we were meant to be, and along a path to find what actually can make us happy in our lives. Atleast we were fortunate to have had a happy path to ourselves.

I think about you from time to time. And I've never wished you anything but the best. I have no idea if you know where I am, I certainly don't know where you are. I'm not sure if you read my words, or even know how to find them. But perhaps one of our kind friends will know this one's for you and pass the message along. And if not, then maybe the next time Hoppipola crosses your playlist, I won't be forgotten.

Here's to us both, and to the journey we each have had, and to the years that we did share. I guess sometimes it's ok to get it wrong.

P.S. - Tell Zilla that Auttie says hi.

Let's Get Syn-ical

Dating.

Every single person's personal hell.

So why do we do it?

The best answer I can come up with....because we have to.

It's an unwritten rule that some bored housewife came up with centuries ago so that she could gather her girlfriends around on Sunday mornings, have an excuse to eat bacon with maple syrup whilst sneaking champagne in her orange juice and scoff at their awkward adventures.

And then one day, some genius in Hollywood decided to start visually documenting these adventures and made millions off of what most of us now pay $12 a pop to see the latest Rom-Com. Except real life dating is far more awkward than your typical Hollywood heartbreak-turn-fairytale. Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway aren't getting rich off of movies about blind dates that your friends met at a random bar and set you up on, or the time you showed up in heels and were a clean 4 inches taller than your date. Lest we not forget the dinner where your date verbally assaults you in a lame attempt at humor and then hangs out for 3 glasses of water past the bill payment. No, no, these are NOT the dating escapades that the movies have promised the average 20-something female.

The way it's supposed to go is that I pass a handsome gentleman on the street, probably in New York City, we exchange a lingering glance, share a great exotic meal, and then cut scene to the big elaborate wedding with doves, a jazz band, and me and Mr. Right cruising away in a white Rolls Royce waiving in tandem through the back window. Cut scene again to the 4 bedroom house in the sunny suburb with 2 kids, a golden retriever, and perfectly clean kitchen.

So seriously, why do we keep doing it? Simply for the hope that our cut scene is just around the corner? That maybe this next date will really be "the one". The guy that convinces me that spending time with him is far greater than the joy of going home from a long day of work, putting on my largest pair of sweatpants, curling up with Mickey and watching the latest episode of Bachelor Pad? Ha!

But with the pressures of getting older and the feeling that you are lagging behind and missing out on something that everyone else seems to have figured out, it makes you really examine WHY do I put myself through the misery of countless bad dates and excrutiating dinners that I don't want to be at. Just for the hope of winding up in a cut scene situation so that one day I might wake up and Mickey has a golden retriever best buddy, who is jumping in bed on a Saturday morning while the kids have made their own oatmeal and are watching cartoons while the hubby and I just laugh about the amusement that is our daily routine? I think I just wrote the newest Tide commercial...

And as if dating weren't already hard enough in and of itself, now you have to layer modern technology on top of it all. Facebook fights, private email addresses, who are you texting now? was you Twitter post about me?? It's Ex-haust-ING.

So for those of my other single ladies who are struggling with the same frustrations in dating, or trying to as best as one can in the real world, I wish you many minimally awkward dinners, adequately tall escorts, and hopefully many happy cut scenes of love. May you each be the exception to the rule and find that soulmate with whom you will one day wave happily through the back of a car window at your adoring well-wishers.

And if you have a particularly amusing bad date story, I do hope you'll share. I'll bring the champagne if you bring the orange juice.

Guess I should rest up, I'm gonna need my strength!

Fall in RVA

Alright, this is really my first post about things to do in Richmond (RVA- for those of my Atlantans who are not familiar with the town's branding) and what it might have to offer. This is also an exciting post for me because it's the first annual topic repeat I've written.

Sorry, let me back up right quick...Something wonderful happened to me this weekend. It happens once a year, and it's a spectacular moment that energized me for the upcomming change that is right on our heels...

I had my first sweet taste of Fall. Marked by that first beautiful morning where you walk out of the house in shorts, a tank top, flip flops and your immediate reaction is "Huh, it's almost chilly out here". And once that 8am chill burns off and you realize that it is now 11am and that slight hint of chill is still overpowering the oppressive summer heat that has been breaking our spirits for months, THAT'S the moment of beauty that I am referring to. It's better than seeing that damn groundhog pop out of the ground into a shadowless world where Spring has arrived.

Perhaps not everyone has this same respect for the grand autumnal shift, but there's just nothing like the fall. The weather is perfect, the leaves are gorgeous, the beers are pumpkiny, and the football is plentiful. Oh the joy of football season. A mere 13 days away from losing my Saturdays and being happy to do it. This is the kind of stuff that dreams are made of. Well, my dreams.

But during this time of year that I cherish so deeply, I don't want to be stuck longing for my normal Atlanta-themed fall line up: Ice Cream Festival, Decatur Beer Fest, GA Tech/ Miami game, Fall tennis season, my favorite patios, etc. I need to figure out what the RVA Fall treasures are.

So I will ask kindly that those of you who know better than I, what should I be gearing up for this fall?? What events do I need to be blocking time on my calendar at work in order to stalk tickets so that I can be sure to get into the biggest and best thing? Although given the fact that I've yet to need a reservation for dinner on a weekend night in town, I'm not terribly concerned about ticket sales for many events. Maybe I should be.

Where are the best bars for watching Saturday college football- keep in mind, needs to be somewhere that with lots of TVs so that they will hopefully pick up all the UGA and Miami games. What are the top festivals to be on the lookout for? And most importantly...what is the preferred local craft fall brew?? This is also something I haven't noticed in RVA, but in ATL, almost every bar in town has a college allegiance...where certain alums gather to watch their games. Don't reckon anyone knows of any Miami or UGA bars in town? I'm guessing not, based on my hours of Google searching.

Holy guacamole, I have so much to learn to get prepared for the season and time is just slipping away from me! I cannot go into the season lacking the appropriate knowledge. So help the new girl in town a bit. Any information is greatly appreciated, and company is always more than welcome! I'll be easy to find this fall, surely there aren't that many Miami jerseys in town. The only question is whether or not I can get away with wearing my Dawgs shirt underneath so that I can adjust accordingly depending on game times. I'm sure I'll figure it out...

Thank you in advance, and I look forward to exploring a new way to do Fall. I may still stalk Decatur Beerfest tickets just in case though...

And for those in Atlanta, the Roswell Ice Cream festival is next weekend. Go. Great event, great cause. Just do it, ok? For me? Thanks.

Happy NOT Groundhog's Day!

CLW

Untitled

I was perhaps a little over zealous in deciding that Cindy Lou had actually successfully answered the "Who" that I have been exploring. I am growing to believe that it's not a question that one CAN answer, but more one that we continue to explore, as I have done so openly over the last year. Richmond is not an end, or "the answer". It's actually a start, a twist in the response. Part of the exercise in life on finding myself that I began last August. And on days like today, when I get frustrated, a little beaten up, and a little down and want nothing more than to run back to the familiar, I'm thankful for the little reminders that it's just a bad day, not a bad situation. Someone very dear and wise taught me to look out for this...

It can be easy to get tunnel visioned and shut down - very easy in fact - and not realize where I was a year ago compared with where I am today. The whole point of this blog was to track that progress and be kept honest. And reading some earlier posts reminded me of that goal. 

So perhaps I jumped the gun on claiming myself new and bright and shiny (seriously, I've got to stop stealing terms from Grey's Anatomy). It's been almost a full year since I started Cindy Lou Who and I feel that I have turned my back on her as of late. Sorry, old girl! She helped me through a few very rough patches and stood by me through some really awesome times. Maybe we can all pretend that my last post didn't actually exist and it was just some really bad dream that we all had. Or I guess I could just delete it all together. Nah, that doesn't seem fair. And if you will, as you have so kindly done over the last year, allow me to open this door back up and continue to share myself, my struggles, my little victories, my Mickey stories, my musings on terrible traffic, my terrible 90s music references, and whatever other thoughts come to me on any random day, we will call it a personal favor and I'll owe each of you one back. (Disclaimer: I still owe on the beer from my 1000th view post, so I wouldn't really hold your breath for me to help with anything time sensitive. I also don't do yardwork and don't babysit. Probably not good for moving and I can't offer legal advice. Soooooo, ya.)

Thank you to everyone out there who has gotten me here and continues to do so. Old friends and new friends and Mickeys alike.  Oh, and in case you were wondering how the 4 left-pawed pup is doing, I'm happy to report that he has a new love in his life. Jackson! A 20lb Yorkie who completely owns him. They couldn't be happier together. Mickey even lets Jackson share his closet, things have gotten serious between these two:

Alright, time to climb down off this lovely rooftop, as much as I wish I could stay under the stars, where no one can make us change who we are (Yup, old school Teitur tonight). But alas, I must turn it in for the night. I will be back in a much more timely fashion though, I promise...


The always [Insert adjective here],
Cindy L. Who

A New Cindy Lou Who?

When I started this blog, I was in a very transitional phase of my life. Picking up pieces of who I was and trying to combine them into some image that made enough of a whole to move forward.

Tomorrow will be 2 years to the day of when I walked away from my life as I knew it. Literally just walked out. And set myself along a very rocky path that has been the last two years. A slew of fallen through plans; a veritable Boulevard of Broken dreams (not sure why I feel intent on making a Green Day Reference...I guess it was something unpredicatble but in the end, it's right). But it's been a long journey and Cindy Lou Who has been a very meaningful practice in transparency and reflection.

And while I have never considered myself a writer, I've used this medium as a therapy several times throughout my life, and it's always been a fantastic outlet. Cindy Lou Who has been no exception to this rule. But now, as I am closing the book on the last 2 years, and looking forward to the next however many years it may be, I've realized that I don't feel the need to write as much.

Now, I'm sure that I just ruined your week with the thought that you might not get to read about my glamorous life, or the hysterical musings of my Mickey. But that's not what I'm saying at all. This is a good thing. I feel bright and shiny again. Not dark and twisty. I went back and read a lot of my posts from last fall, when I first started writing again, and I don't recognize that girl. But not in a bad way, very much in a good way. I had goals for things that I wanted to learn how to do, how to make myself better, and how to set myself up to move forward positively. And I really think I've done that.

And as I'm coming up on what is a big anniversary in my personal life, I have to go back further. I may not recognize myself from 10 months ago, but I really have NO idea who that girl from 2 years ago was. Or where I lost myself so much along the way. But I guess it's easy to lose something that you had never really found. All I mean to say here is that I've been quiet because I've been good. Not much on my mind, just doin my thang. Learning my new city, enjoying some new friends and really just doing whatever I feel like.

So here's my dilemma. I don't want to stop writing. But I want to change the direction of Cindy Lou Who. Give it some focus and write about something FUN that's more than just a space for me to rant and rave. It might be a food blog, it might be a beer blog to go along with the newly forming beer club I'm working on with some friends. It might be a things to do in Richmond blog (but then I start losing some of my Atlanta base). Maybe I'll just post daily pictures of Mickey dressed up in funny outfits. Really, this could go lots of ways. But stay tuned, there will be some overhaul to the site. Much as there has been to myself- so you can atleast be sure that it will be for the better!

An Atlantan's view of Richmond

Well, I'm 2 weeks into life in Richmond. And it's been a packed 2 weeks. Busy with work, which is a great change of pace. Loving my new living space and enjoying the comforts of downtown living for once. Getting to know the Richmond social scene, seeing some old friends, and making some pretty awesome new ones all along the way.

But, there are a few things that stick out here in this foreign land that I can't just ignore. Well, I guess I could, but then I would have to write another post about my dog and even though I know you all love reading about Mickey's exciting adventures, figured maybe some varied content would be welcomed :)

Despite going to college in the Richmond area for 4 years, I did not realize that I was never truly immersed in the Richmond culture. But now that I am more so, I've had a little culture shock. So I thought I would compare and contrast these two cities a little bit. And maybe if you play your cards right, there'll be a venn diagram in it at the end for you visual people (but most likely probably not).

Area Codes
ATL: There are 3- 404 (the original), 770 (the OTP), and 678 (for newbies)
RVA: Only 1- 804
Why it matters: As best as I know, all phone numbers are 10 digits- AREA CODE + #. Since there is only the 1 code, no one leads with an area code. It sounds small, but man it throws you off. It took me about 5 tries to dial out from my work phone to a local number last week because I kept including the area code and getting the wrong number. Also, when you see a 7 digit phone number posted up on a sign, it might as well be an internation phone number- it just doesn't compute.

Speed Limits
ATL: 10 over whatever is posted is pretty much the bare minimum not to get the finger
RVA: 10 under is the maximum that anyone will go, and they will do it dead even with the car next to them creating a brick wall of frustration that cannot be overtaken.
Why it matters: Road rage is real. And I have it. But IF I have the chance to even make it to the speed limit, I feel like I'm flying at 100 MPH. Speed it up, Richmond, or I'm going to start a petition to have your Raceway removed because clearly you are learning NOTHING from it.

Traffic
ATL: The source of the aforementioned road rage
RVA: There just isn't any
Why it matters: Assuming I can get away from the drivers going strictly 10 MPH, it's just nice not to spend a half hour to go 2 miles. Even this week when the storms knocked power out all over the city, it was more bearable than going ANYWHERE on a Friday between 3pm and 8pm in Atlanta.

Atlanta's nickanme
ATL: As a native Atlantan, the only acceptable nicknames for our beloved town would be ATL or A-town
RVA: People think that using "HOT-lanta" is clever and cute
Why it matters: I'm not sure that I have made good enough friends to call someone to bail me out on the assault charges that will be pressed if I hear one more ASS CLOWN refer to Atlanta as...I can't even re-type it. It's awful and no self-respecting Atlantan would EVER use this horrible term.
**Point of clarification, I think this plagues many cities other than Richmond, but since I'm getting it here, I'm willing to discriminate.

Pro Sports teams
ATL: Braves, Falcons, Hawks
RVA: Nada.
Why it matters: It makes me question how people pledge their allegiances to teams that they can't regularly follow. Even this week during the Braves/Nationals series, I couldn't see all the games due to regional black outs. So any Nationals fans are just default fans...and that's no fun.

Those are the big glaring issues right now for me. I'm sure that there will be a Part 2 of this post coming in the future weeks as I have a chance to explore and learn some more. Stay tuned!

Life is a Highway

I know I owe an update to a lot of people. But please try to understand how busy and distracted I have been in my last week. So now that we all agree I'm forgiven, I shall proceed :)

The transition to Richmond has been...seamless. It's odd really, that I feel as though I have just slipped into a new routine, a new belonging, a new way of living and it doesn't phase me. Perhaps this speaks to my high apptitude for adaptibility...or more likely, that it just hasn't hit me yet. But I actually think that I can liken this feeling to the traffic patterns that I have expereinced in my week of commuting 12 miles each way. Every morning at 8:15 when I hit I-95 North to the Parham exit (pronouned Pear-am, NOT Par-ham...very important distinction I have learned, btw), there is no traffic. I keep driving, accelerating, and waiting for the inevitable block in the channel. But I don't hit it. I've been so conditioned by my previous life experience that the road block is coming, there is an inevitable barrier around every turn, but not here. No traffic. Ever. And even if there is...I can take a side road, and still move. It makes NO SENSE. It has quite literally redefined everything that I know about commuting.

Now is this a greater metaphor for my life? Probably not, it's most likely attributed to living in a city with better infrastructure and a mere fraction of the population, but it's a fun parallel to draw given this pretty significant life change. What if this is the end to my roadblocks, and there's nothing but clear highway ahead upon which I can continue to accelerate? A life where Mickey and I really can just roll the windows down, turn the music up and just cruise along... of course at a very safe speed and with our seatbelts on because otherwise he would be far too scared. I'm willing to entertain the idea given that I just sat in a whoping 7 hours of cluster truck traffic overnight on I-285 (which actually happened, little known fact). No more Saturday afternoon spin outs while racing on the freeway.

Ok enough, of the intersate allegories...and onto the facts. My first week in Richmond has been pretty good. I've reconnected with some old friends, I've tried some new activities (such as taking yoga classes), I've pushed myself to make some new friends (had my first happy hour- $12 tab for 2, not bad!), found a new dog park, walked to some restaurants, and already feel more accomplished in my new job than I did in a year and a half in my old one. I'm in the process of responding to my first RFP, I have about 5 trips in the next 3 weeks, and my own intern at my beck and call :) All in all, I don't have much to complain about right now. Which is good given that I took a chance and moved my whole life in a small U-haul truck and my Hatchback for this opportunity. I feel reaffirmed, I feel confident. And this is all I really hoped for out of this experience. Even if for some odd reason I only get this week, it was totally worth it.

I won't go as far as to say that I feel complete, or whole again, but man do I feel hopeful that maybe there's a chance I can get there someday. And hopefully I will be the better for going after something that I really wanted and having it turn out to be as great as I knew it could be. I overcame a lot of fears, a lot of traffic to get to where I am right here, right now. So now, if you don't mind, it's time to put on my classiest shades and roll down the windows so that Mickey can feel the breeze in his ears, and put the petal to the metal.

"There's a world outside every darkened door

Where Blues won't haunt you anymore

For the brave are free and lovers soar

Come ride with me to the distant shore"

My Musical Note

There's a song that reminds me of you
And there's one that I know reminds you of me
There's a song that makes me miss you
A song that makes me wish I could kiss you
One that makes me sad for you
And one that makes me smile.

And the chorus of this music makes up the story of my life.
The story of my days
The tale that I will one day tell.
And I sing this song every morning when I rise,
Every night when I slumber
And in the moments when I wonder.

So if you sing me a song, I'll try hard to listen. But I may not hear you over my own tune.

A Fresh Start

This has probably been my longest break since I started blogging at the end of last summer. So much has been going on with my recent move to Virginia, starting a new job, and just living a whole new life in general.

I haven't really had time to stop and think about anythiing for almost 2 weeks it feels like. But now, I'm mostly moved into my apartment, Mickey has taken up residence in a new closet, and I finally have groceries in the pantry, that's how I know I've really arrived.

Even though I've only had 2 days at work, I've been more mentally drained from my two days here than I was from my last year and a half combined. I honestly believe that. I think after my last post, my poor brain wasn't anticipating ever being engaged again. Wake up call!

And while I have so many things lingering on my mind, whether it be the sadness about walking away from my coaching gig, missing my nephew's birthday pool party, or just the general feeling of living somewhere that I don't have a comfort zone, they have all taken a back seat to how do I get home from work, where is the local DMV, and what do I need to do to get my insurance policies rewritten?? I'm excited to be here and still totally convinced that this is the right decision, but also totally fearful that I am going to wake up in 2 weeks and realize that I'm a lot more lonely than I thought.

It's hard to make new friends at my age without a cover for it. Everyone at work is already buddied up. I found a tennis team but they have cancelled all upcomming practices due to the heat (don't even get me started on this) and I don't think that going out to a bar all alone is really the best idea for a single girl in town. I'm relying heavily on my connections in the area, and trust that these will serve me well. But for now, for tonight, I am putting all of this aside and relying on the fact that I am so wiped out from this week already that my best option is to go to bed so that I can get up early in the morning for my workout and run.

I hope I don't wake up 5 years from now and realize that's how I've gotten through the last 5 years though...

My Atlanta Bucket List

Alright, so now that the news is all out there to everyone, I can stop being so mysterious about my move to Richmond coming up next week. However, before I fully make the transition from Atlanta to Richmond, I have some unfinished business here in the ATL.

Thus, I present to y'all (because that's the only way to say it here in the A), my Atlanta Bucket List. The things that I have always wanted (or atleast recently wanted) to do yet have never done in my 26 years as a native Atlantan.

Climb Stone Mountain

Yes, I'm serious, I have never climbed Stone Mountain. Despite all the class field trips, cheesy group picnics, weddings, and team outings. What better icon of true Southern Pride than a 1,686 ft high rock with a Civil War homage etched into the side upon which one can catch a nightly laser show to prove your Atlanta-ness? I've been to the park, I've been to the laser show. I've yet to tackle the mountain Woman-to-Rock. At this point, it's more of a tradition than a desire, and one that I have not had the joy of experiencing.

Eat at Antico Pizza

This one is just shameful, I admit. Even though it's only been open for a few years, Antico has quickly established its name on the map as not only one of Atlanta's top restaurants, but also as a nationally recognized pizza joint. The hype surrounding the allegedly fantastic Neopolitan style pizza that Antico turns out knows no limits. This one has been on my radar for MONTHS now, but I just haven't made it out there. I love communal tables, I love BYOB, I love good pizza. What on earth have I been waiting for?!?!?! Oh ya...company...

Visit Sweetwater Brewery

Again, yes I'm totally serious. It's something I've been meaning to do for years...I just haven't quite gotten around to it yet. And given that the brewery tours are only at 5pm on Fridays, it looks like this is one that I may have to save for a visit home one weekend. It's just something that I have to do. When in Rome...

The Clermont Lounge

One of Atlanta's classier treasures...The world famous Clermont Lounge. Where strippers go when their careers have been over for 10 years. Now, there's an obvious reason that I've never actually been here. I'm not exactly one to frequent strip clubs, nor am I one to frequent sleazy night clubs. BUT, again, this is just one of those staples of the city that everyone has been to at one time or another. Usually as a result of a late night group decision to go see Blondie (I'll let you Google that one). I mean...does anyone ever really PLAN to end up there? I guess there's always time after my going away party. How about it, gang??

 99 Cent Draughts at Park Tavern

I'm not even 100% convinced that this one is real. But urban legend has it that any time it rains, all draughts at Park Tavern are only 99 cents. And while Park Tavern is a lovely venue settled right on the edge of Atlanta's Piedmont Park, why would anyone want to go there on a rainy day? Well, 99 cent draughts of course! This one is perhaps a spur of the moment rainy day type activity that doesn't lend itself to being a common stop on many lists unless you just happen to live close by, but it's something that I've always wanted to try! Hmm, it's raining right now...

See a Concert at Chastain

Again, this one is almost embarassing as a native Atlantan. Everyone has been to a show at Chastain. Everyone. Except me. Poor, little ol' me. Something I always wanted to do and meant to do but it just never quite panned out. Whether it was the Goo Goo Dolls tickets that I bought and messed up the date on, the Dispatch tickets that I wanted to buy but couldn't get any takers, or the Elton John/ Billy Joel combo that my father stupidly turned down 15 years ago (Yes, Dad, Mom and I have NOT forgotten about this). I just haven't made it to Chastain. That's ok, even if I made it, I probably couldn't find anywhere to park anyway.

Attend a game at Sanford Stadium

While this one isn't technically Atlanta...well...deal with it. As big of a UGA Dawgs fan as I am, I have never actually seen them play live. I've watched almost every game on TV for a lot of years, but I have never seen them in person. I've seen Ga Tech play at Bobby Dodd (usually when Miami is in town) but the only sporting event that I've caught in Athens was a softball game last Memorial Day weekend when UGA played Baylor in the World Series Super Regional. This is one that will certainly haunt me, but hopefully one day I can make up there. Especially since it will be much harder to follow my Dawgs this fall without the leisure of local Atlanta programming. 


I'll work on crossing some of these off my list in my last days here in Atlanta, and it will give me something to aspire to when I come to visit family and friends. If there are any other must dos in Atlanta, do share. But I've had a good run in this city, and we have a lot of memories together. With the exception of the few items listed above, if I haven't done it, there's probably a good reason for it.

But rest assured, Georgia will always be on my mind!

Already Gone

Heard this on the radio yesterday and it just works right now.

Already Gone by Sugarland

My momma mapped out the road that she knows
Which hands you shake and which hands you hold
In my hand-me-down Mercury, ready to roll
She knew that I had to go

And hang out, make lots of noise
And lay out late with a boy
Make the mistakes that she made, ‘cause she knew all along

I was already gone
I was already gone
I was already gone
Life is a runaway train you can’t wait to jump on

They say the first time won’t ever last
But that didn’t stop me the first time he laughed
All my friends tried to warn me, the day that we met
“Girl, don’t you lose your heart yet”

But his dark eyes dared me with danger
And sparks fly like flame to a paper
Fire in his touch burnin’ me up
But still I held on

‘Cause I was already gone
I was already gone
I was already gone
Life is a runaway train you can’t wait to jump on

Last time I saw him, I packed up my things
And he smiled like the first time he told me his name
And we cried with each other, we spread the blame
For the parts that we couldn’t change

Pictures, dishes, and socks
It’s our whole life down to one box
There he was wavin’ goodbye on the front porch alone

But I was already gone
I was already gone
I was already gone
I was already gone
I was already gone

And hang out, make lots of noise
And lay out late with a boy
Make the mistakes that she made
Life is a runaway train you can’t wait to jump on

My Life Tonight

If you had told me a year ago - scratch that - six months ago - that I would be where I am today, I would not have taken you seriously.

What do I mean by that? Well, that's a great question, I'm glad you asked.

I feel better. I feel good. I feel excited and hopeful, for the first time in a long time. Not that I've been a total Debbie Downer up until now, but I realized tonight on my drive home that I've managed to string together a few successful weeks of feeling uplifted. And I've been waiting for this patch literally for years now. It's been a rough ride to get here, to get past the things that have haunted me and uprooted me over the last 2 plus years. But I have an overwhelming sense that I've done it. I've passed the hurdle and while I still have much healing to do and hurt to overcome, I atleast feel properly equipped to handle it.

And I'm so proud of myself for getting here. And so thankful for my friends that have supported me along the way and continue to do so as I transition to this next phase of my life. I'll write more about this transition very soon, I promise. I know there are a lot of people out there that have asked me for more information. And I'm almost ready to share. But I feel good. Maybe the best that I've felt in my life. I know there will be days when I will continue to struggle and I'll hit new bumps in the road, BRING IT!

But for now, I am just content to sit here, on the patio, listening to some Van Morrison with my Mickey and enjoy the fact that I am enjoying where I am right now. I wasn't sure that this spot existed, and it's very comforting to know that it does.

I reckon, all I mean to say is that I'm doing well. Things are good. Great, even. Man, it feels good to say that. And I can't wait to share the details of my news very soon!

Wearin' It Old School

There are few memories from our childhoods that we all hold sacred. A popular game, a trendy fashion, a genre of music. One item that embodies the essence of your childhood.

For me, the classic Old School baseball cap.

It's no secret that I was a youthful tom boy, organizing neighborhood baseball games in my driveway and never allowing any of the other girls to play for fear of them impeding on my territory as sole female basebal expert of Mountain Creek neighborhood. And part of any good mid-90s adolescent baseball fan's collection was a perfectly sculpted baseball cap. You know the one I'm talking about - that perfectly curved bill that you spent days working on to get to the point that finally, FINALLY, both sides touched once you took the rubber band off. Your hours and hours of rubber banding finally paid off into the most beautiful, perfectly bent bill of any Braves hat that you've ever seen. Ahh...youth...

And then one day, some lazy PUNK ASS kidz had to go and ruin every fond memory of the baseball hat that we cherish so deeply.

I mean, seriously...what the *#&@ is THIS??? Yuck. Gross. Ick. The bill is straight, the holographic sticker is STILL on there. This is so many types of wrong that it probably belongs on my Dealbreakers list. It's just...awful. Terrible. Everytime I see one of these "wanna be" New School hats on a professional baseball player today, I cease to take him seriously. Surely, what ass hat (pun always intended) in their right mind would defile such a great tradition as the "Perfect Hat Bend". A hat that curves at just the right angle so as to keep the sun out of your side view, provide a narrow field of focus, and lest we not forget...looks awesome. Practical and Fantastic. I cannot for the life of me understand why this New School of hat wearers has downgraded to a lesser version of the cherished baseball hat. Maybe putting the necessary time and effort into creating the perfect hat got to be too taxing? Would it be easier if someone invented a Hat App?

Don't even get me started on the sticker. Ok fine, I'll start on the sticker. I saw a group of 14-15 year old boys in the store the other day all wearing their New School hats, stickers in tow, and all I could think was: "I bet I could tackle them, sit on them, and get that sticker off before Security can get me". But once I was able to quiet my brain down from repeatedly screaming "TAKE OFF THOSE DAMN STICKERS, NERDS!" , I remembered how slow I am. But I still feel confident that if I timed my attack appropriately, I could have approached from behind, grabbed the hat, removes the sticker, and worst come to worst, worked on the brim fold while fleeing to the exit. And even as I pictured the 50+ overweight Security Guard mowing me down on his Segway, locking me up in Mall Jail, and calling Mickey to come bail me out, it all seemed totally worth the effort and minor incarceration.

I know I'm officially old when I start blaming things that annoy me on these damn kids these days. With their rock and roll music and their hippity hop. But seriously, these DAMN kids these days! Taking away the last thing that is good in this world (ok maybe not the LAST thing). This generation will be the death of us, and the root cause? Who would have ever guessed....

The straight brimmed hat.

So allow me to keep it real by bringing back the Old School, cuz I'm an old fool who's so cool. And let's all rock it out classic style, the way the baseball hat was MEANT to be worn:

My hats off to the Old School, fools.

That's what Brian Boitano would do.

Alright, you are all reasonably intelligent people, so I think that you have all figured out that summer is right on our heels in Atlanta. We've passed the "snow" scares, the fake heat wave followed by the imperative cold snap, survived the pollen traps and have finally arrived at the 2 week period of beautiful, yet hot, weather. The humidity hasn't found us yet, and sitting in the shade is the exact most perfect temperature that anyone could ask for. But out in the sun, we are starting to perspire (because, yes, I'm a lady- I don't sweat, I perspire...atleast for the next two weeks). This can only mean one thing...

SUMMER IS COMING!! AHHHHHHHHH!!

As part of my Softball Park Board Member duties this season, I prepared a guide for how to beat the summer heat and avoid heat exhaustion and dehydration. I had to be pretty political about it, so I decided to share with y'all the REAL secrets to Beating the Summer heat. The tips they don't give you on the Mayo Clinic site (i.e. my first round version that got rejected):

• Find a decent pool nearby. This is the single safest place to be in the summer. Why? Because it's a POOL. A body of cold water with people paid to make sure you don't die. So if you want to not die from the heat, just hang out at the pool. Disclaimer: Pools are only 98% effective in the prevention of Heat Exhaustion. They do not protect against drowning or diseases such as skin cancer and anything that you can catch from children's "accidents".  

• Ask yourself the question "What Would Brian Boitano do?" Seriously. What would he do? Sure, he fights grizzlies and robot kings, and usually even kicks an ass or two. But, when Brian Boitano was in the olympics, Skating for the gold, He did two sow cows and a triple lutz, While wearing a blind fold- he was....ON ICE!! That's what Brian Boitano would do. Besides, Diddy didn't did it.

• Stay inside during the day. Simple enough solution, right? Just avoid the sun, if it can't get you, it can' hurt you. Nevermind the fact that this ould potentially cause the neighborhood kids to start assigning creepy nicknames to you, à la Boo Radley. So if this is the route that you decide to take, I highly recommend developing your stealthy moniker ahead of time and get the word out before little Johnny from down the block deems you "Crazy Pete", "Creepula", "Vampire Face" "Night Walker, Texas Ranger", or "Shadow Creeper". I dunno, coming up with nicknames is not my strength, that's why I keep a Marlie around. I do, however, call dibs on "Night Hawk".

• Drink lots of water. Umm, duh. And if you chose not to drink lots of water, then throw a few extra ice cubes in your whiskey, or be sure to stick to ice cold beer or frozen drinks with umbrellas. Please do not drink irresponsibly this summer. And by that, I mean do not, under any circumstance, let your beer get warm. Party Foul.

• Make smart investments. I'm not talking about your stock portfolio or other assets, but make a few purchases that will aid you in your quest for refuge from the heat. Allow me to make a few practical suggestions:

          Maybe one of these:

          Which you could store in one of these:

          But be sure not to forget one of these:

The SCRUNCHIE! Not a Tanner child from Full House...

How could you possibly fall victim to heat exhaustion when you are exuding the pure essence of "cool" out of every pore? And if you do, well you can just use your scrunchie to put your hair on top of your head, and pull your spray fan out of your fanny pack to mist for a moment!

• And lastly, the best tip that I can offer you to keep your temperature regulated and not pass out in this summer heat is to move. Far away from here. I'm talking somewhere with an igloo- Alaska maybe? Maybe Sarah and Todd have some extra room at their crib for you. Although, watch out for those grizzly bears! Might be best to have Brian Boitano's number on hand if you take this option. Atleast you would be able to see Russia from their house and can kick back with Joe Six Pack and knock off a few cold ones.

Now nobody can say that you weren't warned and advised. If any of you choose to follow your own advice - the "medically accepted" advice - don't come commenting to me when you wind up passed out not by a pool without the contents of your handy dandy fanny pack that you lost in the move.

Happy almost summer, fellow Atlantans! (and I suppose also to you too, non-Atlantans!)

The Times they are a Changin'

I sit in front of a blank screen with about 10 different post ideas that I've been turning over and over again in my head. And yet I can't settle on what I want to write about tonight. But I want to write. And then I realized that this conundrum is a perfect metaphor for my life today.

I could sit here and write you my Ode to Chipper Jones and the 2012 Braves season, or pick apart the lyrics to Miranda Lambert's "Over You", describe the shear joy I derived from buying 4 pairs of shoes this weekend, attempt to write an entire post out of only song lyrics, or I could even regale you with the story of how I saved a life this weekend. But none of these seem right for tonight.

So since I don't have the right story for tonight, I will merely throw out a teaser...

There's big news on the horizon. Huge. Let's just say that within 3 months, 2012 will be significant mark on the map of my life story (BTW- Did we ever come up with a name for it?). And no, I'm not just enticing you to come gather 'round people wherever you roam for the big announcement, although please feel free as the present now will soon be the past. There really is something, and it will be a total game changer. It's just too soon to talk about it.

And I'm actually glad. I'm very ready to close the chapter of the last 2 roller coaster years of my life and start the next volume.

So stay tuned...

Birthday Cones and Milk Bones

First off, Crazy Dog Lady ALERT!

So don't say I didn't warn you...

Today is Mickey's 2nd birthday! Can you believe it? I know, me either! My little boy is getting so big. He's all growed up! As long as you don't count his perpetual fear of his water bowl, the fact that he freezes in terror and urinates anytime he sees a stranger, or the fact that he still carries his stuffed spider to bed with him every night (in the guest room closet).

Yes, he's finally entering those awkward dog-olescent years where he will refuse to take doggie baths, eat enough Purina to feed a horse and be out chasing tails all night. Where does the time go? How do I communicate to my best furry friend how much he means to me and how glad I am that he's in my life? A scoop of peanut butter just doesn't seem to be enough. A lavish party seems somewhat ridiculous - atleast that was the response I got to the Evite I sent out for his party. Maybe I lost everyone at "Party hats required"... As I was willing to provide them, it seemed like a reasonable enough request.

But growing up, we always had a tradition with our dogs on their birthdays that we would take them for ice cream cones. I remember Dad loading us all up, dogs and family, and we would go up to the 31 Flavors and get a vanilla ice cream cone of which all the dogs would get to have a few bites. (And if you were ever curious as to how I got to be such a crazy dog lady, I think that little story just answered any of your outstanding questions). But it was a fun family tradition that we eventually grew out of as I got older and the dogs started getting sent off to some big farm with lots of land for them to run around. Gosh, I sure hope they are still enjoying all that acreage they are playing on!

So I thought it would be fun to start a little birthday tradition of my own with Mickey. He's a good companion to me, and arguably the biggest responsibility in my life, so I want to make sure that he knows he's loved, even if it's only to satisfy my own wants. But hopefully we can come up with something that he and I will do for the next 10 or so years of our lives, and maybe one day it will even be a tradition that we can share with our family as we expand and allow others to join us in our ridiculous ways.

I guess all I wanted to say to the goofiest, most awkward, least intimidating, longest tongued, worst balanced, silliest running, misdirected tailed, non-controlled earred, bed hogging, yet sweetest pup I know is......

Happy Birthday, Mickey! 

(And Mickey, if you're reading this...put my laptop away and go practice your power slides!)



"Balancing" on his favorite spot at the dog park



NOT helping me read in bed






It took me 30 minutes to get him to move so I could go to bed...





Mickey fought a raccoon...and lost, but he's still smiling



Adventures in Wall-E World

So I think that most of us saw the wonderful animated film that came out in 2008 about the loveable trash collecting robot scouring a deserted wasteland and meeting the love of his life, EVE- a robot from outspace where the humans have all migrated to their sedentary, pre-programed lifestyle. So sweet...

Wook at dos sad wittle eyes....

But I don't bring up this image of adorable robot romance to highlight a Pixar love story, instead I find myself curious as to whether the creators of Wall-E had already seen what I was introduced to this week.

Get a load of this ship:
Google Glass (work safe, and link is legit)

Now that we're all in the know of Google's latest and greatest undertaking...

I'm not saying that IF Google Glass is actually successfully developed and functional that we are totally destined to be aboard the Axiom (the spaceship in Wall-E), but it's sure taking a step in the right direction. While I have written about my frustrations and confusion with our modern, rapidly advancing technology, this one takes the cake, HANDS DOWN.

It's not enough to have any and all applications and society at our fingertips, but now we need them in front of our faces so that we don't even have to get our daily work out of holding our iPhones and Blackberrys up to our face all day. Nevermind the subculture of extremely lazy, unmotivated humans that this has the potential to turn out, but think about the potential of everything that Google Glass has the power to depreciate.

This is the optimal set up for entire generations that won't know how to read a map, keep a calendar (obviously this one is terrifying to me), research essay topics without an internet search, remember a phone number, recall birthdays, and probably eventually even tell time on a non-digital clock. Augmented reality...REALLY???

I'm not sure how serious to take this newest endeavor by Google, but it certainly seems to be stirring up commotion across the board, both for and against. And if you watched the video and find yourself signing up to be first on the list to try out the first pair, I ask you to really think about if the advantages really outweigh the disadvantages. Other than the soon to be new hipster look, I can't find the benefit of such a product. If Google really wants to start making a difference, how about a tool that prevents cancer? Or one that can build wells in Africa?

I'm sorry Google, but this time you've gone too far for me. If I didn't rely on my Gmail accounts, Gchat, Google Maps and Google Search to get me through my day to day, I would propose a Google blackout for a week. But you've somehow managed to make yourself too relevant to my daily life. I resent you a little bit in this moment.

But for now, all I can say to Google and your Glasses:

Please don't enable my great grandchildren to have to dress like Judy Jetson. And their great grandhildren to live aboard the Axiom.

Just Don't Do It.

A Frosty Wednesday

I had to memorize this poem in my Freshman American Literature class, and I still remember it to this day. I've caught myself reciting it absentmindedly this week, but I believe it's maybe not as random as I might want to think...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

Atlanta's Top Patios

Ok, I've been wanting to write something to commemorate the first day of Spring since it arrived last week. However, the early concepts of a 9,000+ pollen count, 80 degree weather and bringing out the warm weather wardrobe just weren't cutting it.

Soooooo, I decided that the thing I have been most excited about for this spring is the ability to hang out on a patio again. If you aren't familiar with Atlanta, this is a patio town. People WILL go to your establishment for a great patio despite the beer selection, horrible menu, and any other fallacy that you might be commiting. It's all about the patio (luckily for Hudson Grill).

So without further ado, I present to you what I think is the list of the top patios in Atlanta. I welcome suggestions and additions that I can go test out.

1- The Nook

Located directly across the street from Piedmont Park, I discovered the Nook a few years ago when I was playing on a softball team down there. This was our post-game drinking hole. It's got a great view, fantastic people watching, and the food is pretty good as well.  Plus, it's about the cheapest in town valet parking. If you haven't tried it, go. But pick a nice sunny day!

2- Leon's Full Service

While downtown Decatur is a bit of a hike for me, I NEVER regret the decision to go out there. And while I don't get to Leon's as often as I would like, it's always on my mind. For me, it's hard to go to Decatur and not end up at the Brickstore, but I love this little patio! Day time, night time, anytime is the right time. And when the big garage doors open up and you can hear the hustle and bustle of the bar inside, you just feel like you are one of those elite few "in the know" about this hot spot. Also, on the other side of the bar, there is another small patio with a bocce ball court. Rock on.

3- The Righteous Room

I know, I know, I know. Those of you in Atlanta who have any idea what this place is are scratching your head right now and saying "Seriously?". As I mentioned, this is MY favorite list. Righteous Room takes the idea of dive bar and brings it down to a whole new level. I've never actually even been inside, no idea if they have food, but the ambiance offered by their communal tables outside is one of a kind. Settled on the corner of N. Highland Ave and Ponce, this is PRIMO people watching territory. The clientele is...diverse. And you can get a $15 pitcher of Guiness. Do not go alone, do not go during daytime (is it even open??) but go. Sit back, relax, meet your table neighbors, and watch the evening unfold.

4- Joes on Juniper

Dogs on a patio? Yes, please! I know there are others in Atlanta where you can take your dogs as well, but this one is my favorite. The location is great, the crowd is lively, and the menu is...not my favorite, but I manage. This is easily one of my favorite spots to meet up with an old friend, grab a few drinks, and enjoy the afternoon. Maybe one day I can even take Mickey with me (if he ever learns decent manners).

5- Cypress Pint and Plate

This is one of the few patios that I actually prefer at night. As you can see, they have a fun fire pit that is pretty much always on, and it lends itself to more of a night time patio. Fantastic drink menu, both beer and cocktails. The food is great as well. Parking however can be a little tough. But if you circle it enough, maybe you will luck out to find one of the metered spots up the street. OR, just make a friend who lives near by. If you haven't been here, go now. Before it gets too hot in the evening to enjoy the warmth of the fire pit.

6- Park Tavern

To be perfectly honest, if it weren't for all of the events and 99 cent drafts on rainy days that Park Tavern offers, I'm not sure they would have made my list. There is just something a little overdone about it. However, there is no denying that a beautiful patio set in Piedmont Park is not a wonderful thing. Parking is not great, beer selection is so-so, but it sure is a great place to sit, see the park and listen to live music. Unplugged in the Park starts back May 6th and already on the lineup for this year are Blair Crimmins and the Hookers and Griffin House. Two shows I will definitely be seeing this year.

7- Uncle Julio's

This may be one that we don't all agree on, but I have spent some great evenings on this patio. My memories of this patio will forever keep it in high standards to me. I used to live about a mile from here and it's also a patio that I prefer in the evenings. The bright colors and even brighter patrons are sure to keep your evening interesting. The food is pretty good and the margaritas are STRONG. And if you've never been on a Friday night...well...why don't you just try it out and let me know what you think. But be prepared, they will run out of frozen margaritas fast! Also, this only applies to the Midtown location, the Sandy Springs location pales in comparison.

8- Six Feet Under

I add this one to my list with this stipulation: I've never actually sat on this patio. However- before you let your jaws drop to the ground in complete disgust that I would dare write about something I don't have first hand experience in...I must tell you - they made me do it! But seriously, I spoke to a few friends as I have been working on this blog and EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. mentioned this patio. So surely they must be doing something right. And if nothing else, now the mystery has made me want to go try it out. The restaurant itself is great so I'm sure that if you factor in a rooftop patio, it can only get better!

Alright folks, there it is, my tribute to Springtime in Atlanta. For anyone who is wondering why I did not include any Taco Mac on this list, I ask that you please not return to my blog in the future. And if you have any suggestions for me to go try that you think should make the cut, I would love to have them!

Happy Spring, try not to turn yellow!