I'm Just a Girl, in the World

I've never really been much of one to be sensitive to gender inequalities. I just kind of always did what I wanted as a kid and these things never really phased me. I remember there was always that one girl in classes growing up that when the teacher would ask for a few boys to help her carry some heavy stuff inside, she would always raise her hand and say "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't help too!". And would then proceed to try and carry the biggest heaviest boxes in. Let me set the record straight, I was NEVER this girl. I was perfectly happy sitting in the classroom and cutting up while the teacher ran errands.

Although, in Middle School gym though, I did usually ask to play sports with the boys during PE (Physical Education for those of you home schoolers out there) time because I couldn't stand the giggly girls who would pretend they had no idea what to do with a giant rubber ball during kickball. Seriously, what were the options? There are no words for the level of hair-pulling frustration I felt when these girls would just stand there and watch the ball roll by their feet and then whine (emphasis on the whine) about how they weren't able to kick it, or that they would get their sneakers dirty if they played. If you can't make foot-to-ball contact with a 10" diameter rubber sphere, then we have far wider ranging problems than PE class. But that wasn't a gender issue, it was more of "These girls are wasting my time when I could be developing some seriously useful recreational game skillz" issue. How was I ever going to perfect my Wall Ball or Handball talents if I was constantly subjected to such a low level of play??

Of course, as soon as it was time to record our times on the mile run, I was happy to be judged to the slower girls standards. If there had been even an alternate category that I could have been dropped to, I was all for it. Maybe they could put me in the wheel chair category to compare my times against? That's of course assuming that I didn't figure out it was Mile Day and find a way to fake sick first.

However, this past weekend, I had a brief moment of experiencing that sentiment of gender inequality that Little Suzie Lifts a Lot must have felt back in the 3rd grade when she wasn't targeted to help carry in boxes. I was on the softball field, running some drills with my 10U All Star girls - in what I would call a very Head Coachly fashion - when a man that I did not recognize just wandered onto my field. No biggie, people do this, it's a busy park. Until he came over to me in the middle of me working with my girls, pulled me away from what I was doing with my team and said these words: "You must be the Team Mom, I have money for uniforms for you".

I'm sorry, what part of THIS says team mom to you!?!? Let's dismiss the fact that I'm 26 and these girls are 10-11. I'm on the field hitting grounders, you've sat here and watched me instruct my other coaches how to run these drills, AND, since Captain Obvious didn't leave any presents under your Christmas tree this year, I even wore my bright red shirt that says COACH on it today.

Luckily I had my sunglasses on. I say "luckily" because the fire death ray stares that he would have been hit with could have been enough to smite him on the spot. I quickly realized that I knew all the parents of my girls but had no idea who this person was. "No, I'm the Coach. And you are?"  He said "Jane's Dad". Great, I don't have a Jane on my team. As I broke the news to him that I was neither the Team Mom, nor Jane's coach, he proceeded to argue with me on both points. I work very hard to be a good role model for my girls, but given this man's brash attitude and condescending demeanor, I was about ready to cover how to deliver a decent right hook in the appropriate bodily region instead of Infield One Hop drills.

When the man finally had no choice but to acknowledge that his child was in fact not on my field and I was not going to take the uniform check that his wife had clearly forced into his hand in a very obnoxiously marked envelope "Jane's Uniform Money. Practice. Sunday. Give to Team Mom. DO NOT FORGET!", I had a certain sense of pride in asking him to kindly leave my field so that I could resume my practice.

The funny thing is that one of the moms came to me at the end of the Fall season and told me that she did not appreciate that we use the term "Team Mom" and wished that we would change it to "Team Parent". She felt it was sexist. As of this morning, I have made an official request with the Board to make this correction.

Also important to note: From this point forward, I'll be sure to also ask the mothers if they would like to help me carry equipment to and from the field. I would hate to be hypocritical here :)